Foopy
Career
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2013
- Messages
- 481
- Reaction score
- 757
Hey guys,
Some of you guys know me as an angry, annoying, strange, or a freak. Some of you may just know me for many things. I have been welcomed in this community for quite a while now, and some of you guys may know me from my brother TehSteelFlexer. The thing is.. this isn't what I wanted to actually talk about here today.. I wanted to explain to you guys behind what has been actually happening to me and what others have been doing. As you can see at the top I pointed out a few things some of you guys have called me and ect.
The Point-
The point I am trying to make here is why people have called me these things. I know many people from this community has heard or talked about what has been going around and so on. Yes, some people are probably saying "Oh yeah! I've seen those pictures" or "Oh of course! I have those pictures." This community has just turned into a place where all I see if humiliation, harassment, bullying, ddosing, and even more.
My Regrets-
I've made mistakes in the online world where I know I can't take back. I know that not only me has done those things, but so has many other people. I'm probably gonna regret posting thing and only get hate from this post, but at least I'm doing it to show you guys that it isn't funny. I've met so many people throughout the community and yes I have lost friends from the things I've done or said to people. It isn't my fault. I can't control the way I act or what I did. I know, I'm an idiot for doing what I did and I knew I'd get negative things from it, but there comes a point in time where people take it to the next level. They take the problem too far and don't realize what it does to people.
My Story-
Some of you may know the things I've been going through not just online, but as well as irl. Some people think it's tragic and feel terrible for the stuff I went through and still go through till this day, but some of you find it funny and use it in a way where you want me to just get hurt. If you really don't want to hear me out or just read this, then you should might as well just stop reading from here. Here we go..
5th Grade
This is where it all started. I was just a kid and I honestly didn't know what I was doing, it was my first year in a middle school and I was very afraid. All the teachers frightened me and I honestly didn't know why, but they just did. As of my classmates.. I knew them all from when I was just in kinder garden. We were growing up and people just knew the way with words. I was always happy and I pretty much was well known as a kid. I was always shy at first, but I always managed to make friends. During 5th grade I was told how I was fat or how disgusting I look. I was insecure about how I looked throughout then and changed so much on how I was as a person. For me, I always knew I'd get humiliated, but I didn't imagine it being as bad as how people were being treated by others. I saw many people committing suicide and I didn't want to be next.
6th Grade
After 5th grade I started becoming known in the Middle School and I would always say hi to the older kids and I made so many friends throughout that year. I was still called a fat or hideous kid. I then started taking those things seriously. I was only humiliated by my classmates, but also by the older kids. I then realized maybe I was too well known and it was a bad thing. During that year I started becoming anorexic. I stopped eating and I just never really ate. As of now some of you may see how I don't look fat and I have a good body, but this was because of how anorexic I was which caused me to look like that.
7th Grade
7th grade... It was just such a long and upsetting year for me to be honest. The harassment went from being bad to just completely worse. I was given many notes just saying when are you going to do this? Did you really sleep with this guy? Are you actually emo? Questions and rumors were all just surrounded by me.. One day I went to take a physical for soccer. I was given question like if I did drugs or alcohol. (Which I don't) Then same the question on have you ever felt depressed or attempted to kill yourself. I handed in the papers and she said I'll look over the paper and I'll then come back. 5 minutes later she wanted to pull me in a room so I could have a talk. She asked me why I have been feeling the way I have. She then saw in me that I was not the same as I was two years ago.. She's known me for 14 years and she knows that there was something wrong. Later that day she told me I was in a bad condition where I was depressed and just anxious. I went on with the school year till New Years. My parents were yelling and I just wanted to get away. I said to myself, this isn't how I wanted to spend my New Years, not like that.. So I ran away from home. The next day I came back and my parents were worried. Inside of me I just knew they actually didn't care.. When we came back from Christmas vacation I stopped by the Counseling office and talked to the counselor there. She saw how terrible I looked, I was shaking, confused, alone, and hurt.. I was taken to the hospital that day.. I slept one day in a hospital where I just wanted to go home.. They then transferred me to a hospital another hour longer then the one I went to. In that hospital was a only girl hospital, just so that no one could have anything with the guys. Ages 12-17 .. It was terrible.. the first night I was with this girl who I just felt terrible for and all I heard was yelling and yelling. The staff members yelling at the girls, people who would start physically fighting.. All I did was cry and cry and cry.. They told me I'd be better after going to that psych hospital, but just a month there was a nightmare for me.. It didn't make me better, it made me worse. It gave me more reasons to do what I would always do. I gained severe anger issues where I would not only use foul words, but also my hands and feet were in it too. I started to shake more and more and gained more depression each day. I lost all my friends because they all thought I was a freak. Even my brother wanted me dead and he wishes I that I wasn't his sister anymore. The day I went to the psych hospital was January 7th, 2013..
8th Grade
As 7th grade ended and the old 8th graders moved on to the high school. I said to myself that surprisingly this year would be better and all the problems would go away. (I was stupid enough to believe that) In the first two weeks of school I went to go watch a soccer game that was occurring in the back of the Middle School, and then I saw a group of high school kids who bullied me since 6th grade. I tried hiding myself so they didn't find me which they didn't see me. I then waited behind the school and called my mom to pick me up. The group of kids saw me and walked up and surrounded me.. They kept asking questions and all they did was laugh and spit on me.. I was trying so hard not to cry, but it was difficult not to. My mom arrived and she saw my face all swollen up. She asked what happened, but I told her to just drive and take me home. Late at night I was on Facebook looking through my news feed and stuff till I got a message. It was a girl from the group that were surrounding me that day. She threatened that if she told anyone she'd expose me to everyone in the high school and middle. She said if I did anything she'd have friends who'd do something to stop me. I just sat in my room alone and crying. I asked myself when will this ever stop? Why is this occurring just to me? My brother then introduced me to MCSG and I started playing since the beginning of 8th grade. I thought the online world would just be better then irl.. I was completely wrong.
MCSG
When I first played minecraft I was a complete randie. I didn't know how to fight or how to find chests. :\.. My first clan I ever joined was Forsaken.. I met people from that clan and I told them about my brother. They were surprised and accepted me.. Then I realized it was just a clan filled with guys, I knew where this would've ended. I trusted one guy out of the whole clan which was ______. I'm not going to say, but as I sent him a picture he showed it to the whole clan. I felt like crap after that honestly. I said to myself, what the hell have I done. Me.. myself behind a computer and just exposing myself. That was idiotic of me.. The picture moved on to other clans and other people started receiving it from here to there. Turns out, the community found out and I just became a complete slut to people. Out of everyone I knew in the Community I met a really amazing guy and honestly I trusted him with everything, he literally was my first ever actual friend I had .. KingTut.. He was just so nice and he was there for me.. I first sung to him and honestly I never really liked singing in front of people. He got me to get rid of my fear. Throughout every clan I've gone to I've been asked the same question every time. I'm pretty sure you know where that question is heading.. I denied everyone of them and then one person sent out a fake one which were not even mine. I got more crap from that and it only put me through worse conditions. I told some people about the problem I went through.. How I got put in the hospital and what I did. People started hearing from others and plus saw the pictures. This equaled to me getting more depressed then ever. Every game I went on I either got told to kill myself, drink bleach and chug it all down, overdose on pills, cut myself, and or send them pictures. (I still get told these things and report this in) I got threatened that if I sent them pictures I wouldn't be dossed. Later that day I got dossed.. The thing is this doss doesn't affect just me, but my whole family and I'm the one to blame.. I then was on Youtube where I saw a video from ImCozzy. You may have heard of him, but yeah. I watched one of his videos where someone missed a jump and said Omg, I'm going to Kill myself. Cozzy then replied saying "Don't be a MichelleFoop." The thing is some people found it funny and so did he. I was just offended and completely depressed due to it. ImCozzy also Dossed me and told me to Drink bleach and that no one cared if I "killed myself." He loves harassing me. Then this also refers back to SertifiedBlocks, the most "wonderful" owner of Valor. One day while going on his Teamspeak I wanted to talk to a person there since he was my friend.. Sertified moves me into a channel and puts sticky on me. He confirms saying this song goes out to you Michelle.. As I listened to the song closely it was about a guy committing suicide. I then left crying and leaving the Teamspeak. People think that all this is funny. I get this type of stuff everyday. Everyone says to me, Michelle it's online and if you don't want to hear it then do something irl. It's funny because I have no friends in real life.. No one to look to, no one to tell me that everything will be fine, I'm alone, depressed, and I'm just making myself look like an idiot. Most people really don't care what I've been through, yet they keep harassing me and don't realize what I ACTUALLY gone through. MCSG is where I can talk to people and know someone is there, but the type of harassment that the Community is just doing is completely upsetting. Not just for me, but to other people who has gotten this type of things said to them in this Community.
The Truth
I know myself as a person can never say any of this stuff to someones face, but I can tell you this.. I am truly truly truly sorry I have done anything to hurt you in the past. Me as a person regrets so many things that I did and honestly I ask myself why am I still alive and why am I still getting this type of harassment irl and online.. If i'm still kept on this planet it's because I've done something to hurt someone that I never meant to do.. As a reward I get bullied everywhere I go. I deserve it so much and I am deeply sorry for anyone that I hurt or said anything to. I don't mean the things I say mostly because I'm just either upset or my medication is acting up for me. All in all, I'm sorry as a person for doing all these things to myself. It's not only my fault, but the decisions I made as well. There you have it, the upsetting but reality truth behind me.
-Foopy
Some of you guys know me as an angry, annoying, strange, or a freak. Some of you may just know me for many things. I have been welcomed in this community for quite a while now, and some of you guys may know me from my brother TehSteelFlexer. The thing is.. this isn't what I wanted to actually talk about here today.. I wanted to explain to you guys behind what has been actually happening to me and what others have been doing. As you can see at the top I pointed out a few things some of you guys have called me and ect.
The Point-
The point I am trying to make here is why people have called me these things. I know many people from this community has heard or talked about what has been going around and so on. Yes, some people are probably saying "Oh yeah! I've seen those pictures" or "Oh of course! I have those pictures." This community has just turned into a place where all I see if humiliation, harassment, bullying, ddosing, and even more.
My Regrets-
I've made mistakes in the online world where I know I can't take back. I know that not only me has done those things, but so has many other people. I'm probably gonna regret posting thing and only get hate from this post, but at least I'm doing it to show you guys that it isn't funny. I've met so many people throughout the community and yes I have lost friends from the things I've done or said to people. It isn't my fault. I can't control the way I act or what I did. I know, I'm an idiot for doing what I did and I knew I'd get negative things from it, but there comes a point in time where people take it to the next level. They take the problem too far and don't realize what it does to people.
My Story-
Some of you may know the things I've been going through not just online, but as well as irl. Some people think it's tragic and feel terrible for the stuff I went through and still go through till this day, but some of you find it funny and use it in a way where you want me to just get hurt. If you really don't want to hear me out or just read this, then you should might as well just stop reading from here. Here we go..
5th Grade
This is where it all started. I was just a kid and I honestly didn't know what I was doing, it was my first year in a middle school and I was very afraid. All the teachers frightened me and I honestly didn't know why, but they just did. As of my classmates.. I knew them all from when I was just in kinder garden. We were growing up and people just knew the way with words. I was always happy and I pretty much was well known as a kid. I was always shy at first, but I always managed to make friends. During 5th grade I was told how I was fat or how disgusting I look. I was insecure about how I looked throughout then and changed so much on how I was as a person. For me, I always knew I'd get humiliated, but I didn't imagine it being as bad as how people were being treated by others. I saw many people committing suicide and I didn't want to be next.
6th Grade
After 5th grade I started becoming known in the Middle School and I would always say hi to the older kids and I made so many friends throughout that year. I was still called a fat or hideous kid. I then started taking those things seriously. I was only humiliated by my classmates, but also by the older kids. I then realized maybe I was too well known and it was a bad thing. During that year I started becoming anorexic. I stopped eating and I just never really ate. As of now some of you may see how I don't look fat and I have a good body, but this was because of how anorexic I was which caused me to look like that.
7th Grade
7th grade... It was just such a long and upsetting year for me to be honest. The harassment went from being bad to just completely worse. I was given many notes just saying when are you going to do this? Did you really sleep with this guy? Are you actually emo? Questions and rumors were all just surrounded by me.. One day I went to take a physical for soccer. I was given question like if I did drugs or alcohol. (Which I don't) Then same the question on have you ever felt depressed or attempted to kill yourself. I handed in the papers and she said I'll look over the paper and I'll then come back. 5 minutes later she wanted to pull me in a room so I could have a talk. She asked me why I have been feeling the way I have. She then saw in me that I was not the same as I was two years ago.. She's known me for 14 years and she knows that there was something wrong. Later that day she told me I was in a bad condition where I was depressed and just anxious. I went on with the school year till New Years. My parents were yelling and I just wanted to get away. I said to myself, this isn't how I wanted to spend my New Years, not like that.. So I ran away from home. The next day I came back and my parents were worried. Inside of me I just knew they actually didn't care.. When we came back from Christmas vacation I stopped by the Counseling office and talked to the counselor there. She saw how terrible I looked, I was shaking, confused, alone, and hurt.. I was taken to the hospital that day.. I slept one day in a hospital where I just wanted to go home.. They then transferred me to a hospital another hour longer then the one I went to. In that hospital was a only girl hospital, just so that no one could have anything with the guys. Ages 12-17 .. It was terrible.. the first night I was with this girl who I just felt terrible for and all I heard was yelling and yelling. The staff members yelling at the girls, people who would start physically fighting.. All I did was cry and cry and cry.. They told me I'd be better after going to that psych hospital, but just a month there was a nightmare for me.. It didn't make me better, it made me worse. It gave me more reasons to do what I would always do. I gained severe anger issues where I would not only use foul words, but also my hands and feet were in it too. I started to shake more and more and gained more depression each day. I lost all my friends because they all thought I was a freak. Even my brother wanted me dead and he wishes I that I wasn't his sister anymore. The day I went to the psych hospital was January 7th, 2013..
8th Grade
As 7th grade ended and the old 8th graders moved on to the high school. I said to myself that surprisingly this year would be better and all the problems would go away. (I was stupid enough to believe that) In the first two weeks of school I went to go watch a soccer game that was occurring in the back of the Middle School, and then I saw a group of high school kids who bullied me since 6th grade. I tried hiding myself so they didn't find me which they didn't see me. I then waited behind the school and called my mom to pick me up. The group of kids saw me and walked up and surrounded me.. They kept asking questions and all they did was laugh and spit on me.. I was trying so hard not to cry, but it was difficult not to. My mom arrived and she saw my face all swollen up. She asked what happened, but I told her to just drive and take me home. Late at night I was on Facebook looking through my news feed and stuff till I got a message. It was a girl from the group that were surrounding me that day. She threatened that if she told anyone she'd expose me to everyone in the high school and middle. She said if I did anything she'd have friends who'd do something to stop me. I just sat in my room alone and crying. I asked myself when will this ever stop? Why is this occurring just to me? My brother then introduced me to MCSG and I started playing since the beginning of 8th grade. I thought the online world would just be better then irl.. I was completely wrong.
MCSG
When I first played minecraft I was a complete randie. I didn't know how to fight or how to find chests. :\.. My first clan I ever joined was Forsaken.. I met people from that clan and I told them about my brother. They were surprised and accepted me.. Then I realized it was just a clan filled with guys, I knew where this would've ended. I trusted one guy out of the whole clan which was ______. I'm not going to say, but as I sent him a picture he showed it to the whole clan. I felt like crap after that honestly. I said to myself, what the hell have I done. Me.. myself behind a computer and just exposing myself. That was idiotic of me.. The picture moved on to other clans and other people started receiving it from here to there. Turns out, the community found out and I just became a complete slut to people. Out of everyone I knew in the Community I met a really amazing guy and honestly I trusted him with everything, he literally was my first ever actual friend I had .. KingTut.. He was just so nice and he was there for me.. I first sung to him and honestly I never really liked singing in front of people. He got me to get rid of my fear. Throughout every clan I've gone to I've been asked the same question every time. I'm pretty sure you know where that question is heading.. I denied everyone of them and then one person sent out a fake one which were not even mine. I got more crap from that and it only put me through worse conditions. I told some people about the problem I went through.. How I got put in the hospital and what I did. People started hearing from others and plus saw the pictures. This equaled to me getting more depressed then ever. Every game I went on I either got told to kill myself, drink bleach and chug it all down, overdose on pills, cut myself, and or send them pictures. (I still get told these things and report this in) I got threatened that if I sent them pictures I wouldn't be dossed. Later that day I got dossed.. The thing is this doss doesn't affect just me, but my whole family and I'm the one to blame.. I then was on Youtube where I saw a video from ImCozzy. You may have heard of him, but yeah. I watched one of his videos where someone missed a jump and said Omg, I'm going to Kill myself. Cozzy then replied saying "Don't be a MichelleFoop." The thing is some people found it funny and so did he. I was just offended and completely depressed due to it. ImCozzy also Dossed me and told me to Drink bleach and that no one cared if I "killed myself." He loves harassing me. Then this also refers back to SertifiedBlocks, the most "wonderful" owner of Valor. One day while going on his Teamspeak I wanted to talk to a person there since he was my friend.. Sertified moves me into a channel and puts sticky on me. He confirms saying this song goes out to you Michelle.. As I listened to the song closely it was about a guy committing suicide. I then left crying and leaving the Teamspeak. People think that all this is funny. I get this type of stuff everyday. Everyone says to me, Michelle it's online and if you don't want to hear it then do something irl. It's funny because I have no friends in real life.. No one to look to, no one to tell me that everything will be fine, I'm alone, depressed, and I'm just making myself look like an idiot. Most people really don't care what I've been through, yet they keep harassing me and don't realize what I ACTUALLY gone through. MCSG is where I can talk to people and know someone is there, but the type of harassment that the Community is just doing is completely upsetting. Not just for me, but to other people who has gotten this type of things said to them in this Community.
The Truth
I know myself as a person can never say any of this stuff to someones face, but I can tell you this.. I am truly truly truly sorry I have done anything to hurt you in the past. Me as a person regrets so many things that I did and honestly I ask myself why am I still alive and why am I still getting this type of harassment irl and online.. If i'm still kept on this planet it's because I've done something to hurt someone that I never meant to do.. As a reward I get bullied everywhere I go. I deserve it so much and I am deeply sorry for anyone that I hurt or said anything to. I don't mean the things I say mostly because I'm just either upset or my medication is acting up for me. All in all, I'm sorry as a person for doing all these things to myself. It's not only my fault, but the decisions I made as well. There you have it, the upsetting but reality truth behind me.
-Foopy
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