Dear mother and father, it is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with you guys. I've been finding real love with him, and he is so nice, but I knew you wouldn't approve because of his piercings, tattoos, motorcycle, and because he is so much older than I am. But it's not the only reason, I'm pregnant. He said that we will be very happy together. He owns his own cabin in the woods and has a stack of firewood that will last the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. He has opened my eyes to the fact that medical marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it ourselves, and trading it to people in the community for any other drugs or necessities we may have a craving for. In the meantime, we can pray that science will find a cure for his AIDS so he can get better. He sure deserves it! Don't worry mom and dad. I'm 16, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll be sure to come back and visit so you can meet your many grandchildren. Love, your daughter Haley. P. S. None of that above was true. I'm over at Liz's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report resting in your email right now. Call when it's safe for me to come home!
