Online dating - Your opinions?

[Mooclan]

I think online dating is acceptable, but I don't think it should be used unless you're a bit older. When you're in your teens and early twenties, you need to use that time to actually develop into your personality, and refine your social skills for when you're ready to jump into the real world. Dating in high school and just being in a relationship develops a lot of skills that you'll need for the future, and it'll boost your confidence tenfold if you do it enough.

In the gaming community, it's common knowledge that a majority of the people tend to be lacking in self confidence and social skills. If you get out there and challenge yourself to approach a girl (or guy) you find attractive, that in itself is a huge step in becoming confident in yourself. When you're younger, you HAVE to experience rejection. Every person has in some way or another with relationships, it helps you grow. Because online dating tends to focus on the lack of confidence, the shyness you might feel (this correlates with confidence), or even the amount of times you've been rejected has really started to takes its toll on you, that's why I'm focusing on the issue of confidence so much. You can be introverted and shy, but I want everyone to know that being introverted and shy is NOT your real personality, you just are putting up a wall. Overall, I just think if you're young, you should force yourself to keep your head up straight, shoulders up tall, and don't care what others think about you. Trust me, 99.99% of the time, they aren't thinking bad about you. The girl/guy you just asked out isn't thinking bad about you, in fact, I guarantee they're flattered and a little shocked themselves that they were just asked out on a date, or asked to give their number to that person.

As for older people, there tends to be less options. If you're 40 and you've been divorced twice, etc, it can be difficult to find places to meet other single girls/guys. I assume this is why internet dating became such a huge thing early on. Also, being older means that you actually have the means to eventually travel to meet that girl/guy you've been speaking to for so long online. This is only my opinion, and it may sound a bit weird, but if you're only exclusively online dating, then you're missing out on one major key factor that is almost always required in relationships: touch. This is why long lasting couples who might have to move away after a while for a period of time generally end up splitting up, because the distance is too much, and they are missing that factor (plus trust is usually thrown out the window).

Source: Wrote a 15 page research paper in my social psychology class earlier this year on this exact topic. And on a more personal note, when I was growing up I was actually very shy. I always had a good group of friends, and spoke to a lot of people in school, but I did always have a shell around me. It wasn't until I hit highschool that I realized it wasn't worth it to be this shy kid anymore. I literally forced myself to have an improved posture, and to walk with an air of confidence. Eventually I became a loud mouthed fool who might still talk to much, but its my personality; and I was hiding that personality for most of my early life because of a fear of rejection, etc. I notice most of the people I have spoken to on here on a personal level haven't broken out of that shell yet. But I can tell that they could be really great out there in the real world because they are generally goofy as hell in Skype and TS.

This is a long shot, but if anyone has any questions they want to personally ask me about, or a situation they need help with, don't hesitate to PM me.

Oh boy, a post to debate with :> huehuehue

Now, I'm not the exact same as you, so we have differing viewpoints. I don't know how shy you were before, and obviously the same goes for the other way around. And I just want to say that I really respect your viewpoints, and your advice is very credible - for certain people, and unfortunately I'm just not one of them. What I'm about to say is just from my personal experiences, which are rather unusual.

But for a person like me who is shy to the extent that I have had panic attacks about certain social interactions, doing some of those things aren't so easy. I literally had one friend throughout all of Middle School, and I'm currently homeschooled for my Freshman year. Attending a new high school in the fall, with completely new people? That's going to be hell and back for me.
Certain people have depression related to their insecurities, and their self-esteem drops to the point where they are unsure if they can even talk.
When I was younger, I made a promise to my sisters that neither 3 of us would date until we were 17. When I grew up, I realized I would really, really regret that promise. But I held to it, and to make it easier on me, I gradually developed a fear of girls my age (as I previously stated) and I also avoided virtually all interaction with the opposite gender.
One of my largest insecurities is how I look. I used to get teased because my nose was "too flat and wide" (yeah, lol, i hinted this last post) or that I looked "Blasian" (Black/Asian, even though I'm Indian and Chinese. Get it rite scrubz.) And while I dealt with it temporarily by hurting the people who bullied me by getting into fights and eventually getting a rep as a brawler, it still left a long-lasting scar on my self-esteem.


Oh, heck, I have to go :< I wanna stay and type.

 

[arsenal]

My lit teacher has dated 7 guys off of Ok Cupid. One of them she is about to marry.

 

[TheRealAussie]

Hmmm. Reserved for an extremely long post I am about to type.

 

[Sean]

I know this will get a lot of hate because a lot of people agree with online relation ships. But honestly I hate the whole idea of it. Yes I know a lot of people are self conscious etc. the only way to overcome this is to actually go up and talk to a girl. In fact online relation ships annoy me and it just shows how much technology has become a necessity in our life's. I remember when I was 12 I was out 14 hours a day with my friends. These days 12 year old kids spend 14 hours a day on a computer, iPad what ever. Yet another reason why I dislike it is the fact of not being able to have a physical relation ship. Ok so I have had my fair share if relation ships in real life and I know if I do not see the girl for more than 2 weeks it feels horrible i don't know how people have a relation ship if one person lives in America and the other I'm Europe. But it is not all negative I can agree with people that may live in the same country etc that maybe can see each other every so often that is fair enough. But sorry now if you are never going to see each other you cannot have a relation ship. What are you going to do have a wedding over Skype? Anyway that is it I would write more but it's 1:15am and I have work at 8:00 am + plus I am on my phone so my spelling was probably shocking. - rant over.

 

[Beardy]

Hmmm. Reserved for an extremely long post I am about to type.

I'm ready

 

[Foopy]

:|

 

[billyguy1]

Hmmm. Reserved for an extremely long post I am about to type.

Well?

 

[TheRealAussie]

Well?

Playing LoL

 

[Sixorr]

I honestly don't like it when people say they are too scared/shy to ask someone out. So what if they say no? There are plenty of other people in the world. Also, 9/10 people will just feel bad for you if you get rejected, I doubt you will be made fun of. I've asked out three girls, and all of them said yes. If you just put yourself out there and do it you might find that you have more fun than just watching her/him from afar. I don't know.. Just my opinion.

What this has to do with the thread is that you should try IRL dating before you try internet dating...

 

[Ceroria]

To not be able to physically interact with your girlfriend? As a personal preference I'll stay away from online dating but I'm in no way against it c:

 

[le quack]

This topic is very debatable, they have its up and downs:

Ups:

• You guys are from different places you can learn about each others places
• Easier to find people with similar interests
• If possible meeting IRL is a great option (I've seen this youtube videos of people meeting from Online Dating)
• Drama is easier to deal with then IRL

Cons:

• You never know who's behind the screen they could easily scam you
• As iMightTroll said you can get robbed n shiz
• If you guys live really far its hard to meetup

In my opinion I'm with the "cons" side

I'm not against Online Dating but its not everyone's cup of tea

 

[bbLLERMC]

Ehhh not my thing