Online dating - Your opinions?

[Deformed]

billyguy1
Brownieee

 

[Blamph]

I think online dating is acceptable, but I don't think it should be used unless you're a bit older. When you're in your teens and early twenties, you need to use that time to actually develop into your personality, and refine your social skills for when you're ready to jump into the real world. Dating in high school and just being in a relationship develops a lot of skills that you'll need for the future, and it'll boost your confidence tenfold if you do it enough.

In the gaming community, it's common knowledge that a majority of the people tend to be lacking in self confidence and social skills. If you get out there and challenge yourself to approach a girl (or guy) you find attractive, that in itself is a huge step in becoming confident in yourself. When you're younger, you HAVE to experience rejection. Every person has in some way or another with relationships, it helps you grow. Because online dating tends to focus on the lack of confidence, the shyness you might feel (this correlates with confidence), or even the amount of times you've been rejected has really started to takes its toll on you, that's why I'm focusing on the issue of confidence so much. You can be introverted and shy, but I want everyone to know that being introverted and shy is NOT your real personality, you just are putting up a wall. Overall, I just think if you're young, you should force yourself to keep your head up straight, shoulders up tall, and don't care what others think about you. Trust me, 99.99% of the time, they aren't thinking bad about you. The girl/guy you just asked out isn't thinking bad about you, in fact, I guarantee they're flattered and a little shocked themselves that they were just asked out on a date, or asked to give their number to that person.

As for older people, there tends to be less options. If you're 40 and you've been divorced twice, etc, it can be difficult to find places to meet other single girls/guys. I assume this is why internet dating became such a huge thing early on. Also, being older means that you actually have the means to eventually travel to meet that girl/guy you've been speaking to for so long online. This is only my opinion, and it may sound a bit weird, but if you're only exclusively online dating, then you're missing out on one major key factor that is almost always required in relationships: touch. This is why long lasting couples who might have to move away after a while for a period of time generally end up splitting up, because the distance is too much, and they are missing that factor (plus trust is usually thrown out the window).

Source: Wrote a 15 page research paper in my social psychology class earlier this year on this exact topic. And on a more personal note, when I was growing up I was actually very shy. I always had a good group of friends, and spoke to a lot of people in school, but I did always have a shell around me. It wasn't until I hit highschool that I realized it wasn't worth it to be this shy kid anymore. I literally forced myself to have an improved posture, and to walk with an air of confidence. Eventually I became a loud mouthed fool who might still talk to much, but its my personality; and I was hiding that personality for most of my early life because of a fear of rejection, etc. I notice most of the people I have spoken to on here on a personal level haven't broken out of that shell yet. But I can tell that they could be really great out there in the real world because they are generally goofy as hell in Skype and TS.

This is a long shot, but if anyone has any questions they want to personally ask me about, or a situation they need help with, don't hesitate to PM me.

 

[ImTheNarwhal]

I think online dating is acceptable, but I don't think it should be used unless you're a bit older. When you're in your teens and early twenties, you need to use that time to actually develop into your personality, and refine your social skills for when you're ready to jump into the real world. Dating in high school and just being in a relationship develops a lot of skills that you'll need for the future, and it'll boost your confidence tenfold if you do it enough.

In the gaming community, it's common knowledge that a majority of the people tend to be lacking in self confidence and social skills. If you get out there and challenge yourself to approach a girl (or guy) you find attractive, that in itself is a huge step in becoming confident in yourself. When you're younger, you HAVE to experience rejection. Every person has in some way or another with relationships, it helps you grow. Because online dating tends to focus on the lack of confidence, the shyness you might feel (this correlates with confidence), or even the amount of times you've been rejected has really started to takes its toll on you, that's why I'm focusing on the issue of confidence so much. You can be introverted and shy, but I want everyone to know that being introverted and shy is NOT your real personality, you just are putting up a wall. Overall, I just think if you're young, you should force yourself to keep your head up straight, shoulders up tall, and don't care what others think about you. Trust me, 99.99% of the time, they aren't thinking bad about you. The girl/guy you just asked out isn't thinking bad about you, in fact, I guarantee they're flattered and a little shocked themselves that they were just asked out on a date, or asked to give their number to that person.

As for older people, there tend to be less options. If you're 40 and you've been divorced twice, etc, it can be difficult to find places to meet other single girls/guys. I assume this is why internet dating became such a huge thing early on. Also, being older means that you actually have the means to eventually travel to meet that girl/guy you've been speaking to for so long online. This is only my opinion, and it may sound a bit weird, but if you're only exclusively online dating, then you're missing out on one major key factor that is almost always required in relationships: touch. This is why long lasting couples who might have to move away after a while for a period of time generally end up splitting up, because the distance is too much, and they are missing that factor (plus trust is usually thrown out the window).

Source: Wrote a 15 page research paper in my social psychology earlier this year on this exact topic. And on a more personal note, when I was growing up I was actually very shy. I always had a good group of friends, and spoke to a lot of people in school, but I did always have a shell around me. It wasn't until I hit highschool that I realized it wasn't worth it to be this shy kid anymore. I literally forced myself to have an improved posture, and to walk with an air of confidence. Eventually I became a loud mouthed fool who might still talk to much, but its my personality; and I was hiding that personality for most of my early life because of a fear of rejection, etc. I notice most of the people I have spoken to on here on a personal level haven't broken out of that shell yet. But I can tell that they could be really great out there in the real world because they are generally goofy as hell in Skype and TS.

This is a long shot, but if anyone has any questions they want to personally ask me about, or a situation they need help with, don't hesitate to PM me.

This

 

[MultiBigTime]

Should of made a so called: "Voting Poll"

 

[shadowblaze12]

I think online dating is acceptable, but I don't think it should be used unless you're a bit older. When you're in your teens and early twenties, you need to use that time to actually develop into your personality, and refine your social skills for when you're ready to jump into the real world. Dating in high school and just being in a relationship develops a lot of skills that you'll need for the future, and it'll boost your confidence tenfold if you do it enough.

In the gaming community, it's common knowledge that a majority of the people tend to be lacking in self confidence and social skills. If you get out there and challenge yourself to approach a girl (or guy) you find attractive, that in itself is a huge step in becoming confident in yourself. When you're younger, you HAVE to experience rejection. Every person has in some way or another with relationships, it helps you grow. Because online dating tends to focus on the lack of confidence, the shyness you might feel (this correlates with confidence), or even the amount of times you've been rejected has really started to takes its toll on you, that's why I'm focusing on the issue of confidence so much. You can be introverted and shy, but I want everyone to know that being introverted and shy is NOT your real personality, you just are putting up a wall. Overall, I just think if you're young, you should force yourself to keep your head up straight, shoulders up tall, and don't care what others think about you. Trust me, 99.99% of the time, they aren't thinking bad about you. The girl/guy you just asked out isn't thinking bad about you, in fact, I guarantee they're flattered and a little shocked themselves that they were just asked out on a date, or asked to give their number to that person.

As for older people, there tend to be less options. If you're 40 and you've been divorced twice, etc, it can be difficult to find places to meet other single girls/guys. I assume this is why internet dating became such a huge thing early on. Also, being older means that you actually have the means to eventually travel to meet that girl/guy you've been speaking to for so long online. This is only my opinion, and it may sound a bit weird, but if you're only exclusively online dating, then you're missing out on one major key factor that is almost always required in relationships: touch. This is why long lasting couples who might have to move away after a while for a period of time generally end up splitting up, because the distance is too much, and they are missing that factor (plus trust is usually thrown out the window).

Source: Wrote a 15 page research paper in my social psychology earlier this year on this exact topic. And on a more personal note, when I was growing up I was actually very shy. I always had a good group of friends, and spoke to a lot of people in school, but I did always have a shell around me. It wasn't until I hit highschool that I realized it wasn't worth it to be this shy kid anymore. I literally forced myself to have an improved posture, and to walk with an air of confidence. Eventually I became a loud mouthed fool who might still talk to much, but its my personality; and I was hiding that personality for most of my early life because of a fear of rejection, etc. I notice most of the people I have spoken to on here on a personal level haven't broken out of that shell yet. But I can tell that they could be really great out there in the real world because they are generally goofy as hell in Skype and TS.

This is a long shot, but if anyone has any questions they want to personally ask me about, or a situation they need help with, don't hesitate to PM me.

To lazy to read, so I'll take your word for it.
THIS.

 

[ImTheNarwhal]

RobinAgain
celinevanelden

 

[billyguy1]

I think online dating is acceptable, but I don't think it should be used unless you're a bit older. When you're in your teens and early twenties, you need to use that time to actually develop into your personality, and refine your social skills for when you're ready to jump into the real world. Dating in high school and just being in a relationship develops a lot of skills that you'll need for the future, and it'll boost your confidence tenfold if you do it enough.

In the gaming community, it's common knowledge that a majority of the people tend to be lacking in self confidence and social skills. If you get out there and challenge yourself to approach a girl (or guy) you find attractive, that in itself is a huge step in becoming confident in yourself. When you're younger, you HAVE to experience rejection. Every person has in some way or another with relationships, it helps you grow. Because online dating tends to focus on the lack of confidence, the shyness you might feel (this correlates with confidence), or even the amount of times you've been rejected has really started to takes its toll on you, that's why I'm focusing on the issue of confidence so much. You can be introverted and shy, but I want everyone to know that being introverted and shy is NOT your real personality, you just are putting up a wall. Overall, I just think if you're young, you should force yourself to keep your head up straight, shoulders up tall, and don't care what others think about you. Trust me, 99.99% of the time, they aren't thinking bad about you. The girl/guy you just asked out isn't thinking bad about you, in fact, I guarantee they're flattered and a little shocked themselves that they were just asked out on a date, or asked to give their number to that person.

As for older people, there tends to be less options. If you're 40 and you've been divorced twice, etc, it can be difficult to find places to meet other single girls/guys. I assume this is why internet dating became such a huge thing early on. Also, being older means that you actually have the means to eventually travel to meet that girl/guy you've been speaking to for so long online. This is only my opinion, and it may sound a bit weird, but if you're only exclusively online dating, then you're missing out on one major key factor that is almost always required in relationships: touch. This is why long lasting couples who might have to move away after a while for a period of time generally end up splitting up, because the distance is too much, and they are missing that factor (plus trust is usually thrown out the window).

Source: Wrote a 15 page research paper in my social psychology class earlier this year on this exact topic. And on a more personal note, when I was growing up I was actually very shy. I always had a good group of friends, and spoke to a lot of people in school, but I did always have a shell around me. It wasn't until I hit highschool that I realized it wasn't worth it to be this shy kid anymore. I literally forced myself to have an improved posture, and to walk with an air of confidence. Eventually I became a loud mouthed fool who might still talk to much, but its my personality; and I was hiding that personality for most of my early life because of a fear of rejection, etc. I notice most of the people I have spoken to on here on a personal level haven't broken out of that shell yet. But I can tell that they could be really great out there in the real world because they are generally goofy as hell in Skype and TS.

This is a long shot, but if anyone has any questions they want to personally ask me about, or a situation they need help with, don't hesitate to PM me.

What helped you to get over your fear of rejection?

 

[Qwackey]

no

 

[Mooclan]

Figures, as soon as I log back on from no internet, this is the first thread I see.
FUN FACT: I READ APPROXIMATELY ONE FULL-LENGTH ROMANCE NOVEL A DAY, SOMETIMES TWO. I've already finished one today.
So yeah, call me sappy if you want to, but I've even shed a few tears during two or three or four or a few dozen But I'm actually a really emotionally sensitive person.
And thus, before I go into a huge essay thing, I want to say that I do approve of online dating, but I think that there are some precautions that should be taken, such as confirming the person's identity (explained below) before committing to a relationship.

As a person who is extremely shy and introverted in real life, I have escaped to the internet. Not only what was described in the OP is true for me, but I also have a childhood fear of girls (not older women or younger kids, just girls my age group) and thus I have forced myself to avoid interaction with the opposite gender in real life. On the internet, though, I'm different. I'm a confident, smart young teenager with what some people joke is a "smexy" voice and a kind personality around my friends, and a business attitude around people that I don't know. I feel like I'm the type of person that generally relies on online dating to meet a "person of interest". But first I would want to be mentally prepared, and I don't feel that at this age I should be dating. Maybe next year, unless I meet someone that "sparks a flame" blah blah blah

In general, there are some pros and cons to online "courting", and online dating services.

1. The identity of the opposite party. They might claim to be a "19, brown-haired, 6'4", blue-eyed male" and all that jazz, but really they could be a pedophile creeping on teenage females. Or, they might just lie about their appearance or exact age, etc.
2. The location of the person. They could be across the world, or maybe just the continent. It's pretty much just like a long-distance relationship, except you've never met the person, never had your first kiss with them, etc. so it's like you're less committed.
3. Sometimes, when you first meet them, you stop liking them. Maybe their nose is a bit bigger than you thought, or they're really gloomy all the time. People can fake their personality over the internet very easily - I do, too.
4. Either party can cheat on the other party very, very easily.
5. If you are used to using "sexy smirks" or your "great abs" to "pick up chicks", well, sorry but that won't work.
7. Did I mention parents? Nuff said.

On the other side, there's also some great benefits of online dating.

1. You don't have to commit to a relationship until you've met the person for a while. You can explain that you want to get to know them better before making sure that you're compatible or whatever, and the person is almost definitely going to agree, because they will probably realize it's just something that comes with online dating.
2. Shy, introverted, or socially awkward people avoid situations where their tendencies come into play, giving them a chance that they otherwise wouldn't have in real life.
3. You can meet people from all over the world, or just from your local area. I guess you could say there are a lot of "options".
4. There is a nearly equal ratio of males to females using online dating - something around 53% males to 47% females. Out of 50+ million users, that's good enough I think.
5. You can always meet someone new. If one person doesn't work out, just go for round 2, or take a break and do it some other time. If you've handled online dating right, IMO, that person shouldn't have anything to hurt you with.

I was going to post more but I think there's been a ton more posts that I want to read but can't because I'm typing this one.
Edit: oh, and I've been typing this for roughly 47 minutes.

TL;DR? Online dating is a good thing, in my personal opinion.

 

[Groot]

I feel that it's fine as long as they'd eventually get together IRL. Because the main point in dating really is to love eachother and eventually get up to the point of marriage (if that's what they want) and build a family c: But marriage/family isn't possible with an online relationship, so IRL together-ness is needed.

 

[Blamph]

What helped you to get over your fear of rejection?

I'll admit that it wasn't easy at first, but I'm not lying when I say that every single person out there had to get over the fear at some point in their life while growing up. It takes time, months even, to get over it. The way I managed to do it was to literally force myself into social situations I knew I would never do with my previous mindset. I'd be literally cringing inside usually, but don't let that show. I kept a smile on my face when appropriate, kept my posture up tall, and forced myself to just randomly start conversations with strangers and mostly girls. By doing this in the beginning, it eventually just clicked and I realized I was talking to more people without even telling myself to do so, or thinking about the whole situation before hand. Same goes for asking a girl out on a date. You will get rejected a few times, but you need to take the positive out of it and pat yourself on the back for even doing something that many people can only hope to gain the will power to do.

 

[BlueHeron]

A relationship should be both physical and mental, and the problem with online dating is that it's purely mental, and even that's not a real connection. Human's should date at a real level, and I feel that IMing and talking over Skype of TeamSpeak doesn't really show who you are in real life. I understand how being with your "online date" might make you happy. but lets be real, isn't that how friends are you supposed to make you feel?