wanting to die isn't a sin in itself, its only a sin if you actually commit suicide. cutting is technically a sin, but its not an unforgivable one. if you ask god for forgiveness, trust me he'll forgive you. also, god understands what you're going through, and he cares about you. i know its hard, but just as long as you try to be better, you'll be forgiven. its ok to make mistakes, its even ok to make the same mistake twice, just as long as you try. really the only reason suicide is a sin is because you can't be forgiven after your dead, its also very disrespectful to god to waste the body he created