ThisIsNotNicksAlt
Tribute
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2015
- Messages
- 1
- Reaction score
- 60
Hi everyone! It's been a long time since I've bothered to put effort into something on the forums, truthfully it's been a while since I've been on my main account on the forums posting anything. For those who are a little behind, I was banned last year on the forums for "Abuse and spreading rumours about an admin killing a VIP after said VIP's father had died" (Truthfully I couldn't even understand the last part, haha. Turns out that was false anyway :') )
At first, I couldn't care less. I was losing interest in MCSG anyway. I became incredibly toxic in-game and truthfully, wins were the only thing on my mind. Being a positive rolemodel? Nah, everyone who kills me is trash, who cares? Someone has a different opinion than me? Probably some random who has no idea what they're talking about, better trash talk them. I had a toxic mentality for a large duration of playing this game. Although my ban on the forum was for some lame evidence put together in a rush, it was well deserved.
My influence on people, all though I didn't realise at the time was a part in creating a toxic and negative community. In Australia, many players are negative towards each other with no real intention, it's just nature. Although, the blame isn't all on me I do believe that being a highly ranked player and an 'idol' made other players act more like I did. My general belief was that I was a kid. Whatever other people did wasn't my problem and it's true for the most part. However, the things people get mad about in this game? Abuse? Harassment? This game is a product that WE created. The community, and higher up players in general are to blame.
I got many comments about my behaviour, I laughed at them and I still do. Most of it was "Because you're a highly ranked player doesn't give you the right to make fun of others". I laughed at the hypocrisy that their comments presented me. In turn, the people that judged my behaviour were also the people that made fun, and abused others. Was it because they weren't a high rank? Was it because it was 'justified'? Was it because no one would care? Truthfully, I'm not sure. To those people who really want to make a difference in the community criticising others about their behaviour is NOT a key to fixing it. To the staff, banning away your problems is NOT the solution, reform toxic behaviour and reward it. Judging and being unfair to toxic players gives them 'justification' for their actions. I can not stress this enough.
Anyway, skip foward to present day. I recently enquired a member of the senior staff about being unbanned from the forums. I was told it would be brought up in their meeting and I would be emailed about it on the weekend. I still have not recieved that email, and I decided I can't make things right to those who still hold grudges against me by sitting in the shadows and just waiting for everything to go my way. I'm not a better person than I was a year ago now, I'm not more mature and truthfully, I have not changed. I'm just owning up to my actions and attempting to move on. I've lost passion for the game a long time ago, and as such do not care about negativity and hate I get. Because of this, I opened my eyes and saw how my actions were not justified. I'm not going to single anyone out and say sorry individually. If this forum account doesn't get banned, feel free to contact me. I'm more than happy to talk with you.
Withour further adu,
To the staff: My actions have obviously caused you harm and required you to work overtime to solve issues I've caused (and find ways to ban me!
). In all seriousness, the staff are actually good people. Most people are good people if you get to know them. Just because the staff don't like you, or your friend or banned one of your favourite YouTubers does NOT mean they are doing anything wrong. I've been a normal player and a moderator. As such, I can see from both points of view about current affairs. From a clans perspective, the staff are corrupt. From the staffs perspective, clans are troublemakers. Just because you are on the other side of the fence it does not mean they are corrupt, it does not mean that they are wrong and it does not mean that they are trying to hurt you. They all try to improve MCGamer in their own ways, and I have obviously hindered that process. And for that, each and every single member of the staff who has had a problem with me. I am truly sorry.
To the forumers: Most of you guys, are genuinely nice people and say your viewpoint and what you believe. This is not wrong, however because of this I have bashed on people who have had a different opinion than the one I had, because I believed it to be right. Words can hurt. I'm not necessarily a person to get hurt by things other people say, but I know many members here are insecure and can't stand negative criticism or abuse. I've probably ruined many peoples day, more than once just because of an indifference of opinions. Whether or not I get unbanned or even continue to use the forums, I wish that we can turn over a new leaf and start positively. Almost every forumer is a nice, friendly and helpful person. These are qualities you guys should be proud of. Don't bother hiding you true self because you're scared of peoples reactions. In-game, and IRL. You're all great people. The fact that I've hurt some of you genuinely makes me feel bad as a person, I'm really sorry to some of you especially.
To the in-game community: The in-game community is always perceived as toxic and hateful, I'm partly to blame for a lot of that. I know people who have hated me, laughed with me and I've definitely made friends who I'll never forget from this community, the pain and hatred that we've all shared around is nothing compared to the friendships that were harboured amongst the hatred. We've all shared bad moments together, we've all been toxic together. And hopefully, to those this message reaches out too. I really hope we can respect one another and create a better community.
I've more or less quit the competitive side of the game, xxbenchwarmerxx has only played 1 game since version 2 of MCGamer. I see it staying that way, as the hassle of playing competitively really changes a person into a worse person. I really hope that top players can appreciate the game for something more than getting respect for being good at a video game. You don't have to push yourself through something you don't enjoy. Most of us have put a hefty amount of time to get where we are, instead of wasting it we should be grateful that this game has given us enjoyment for hours, days and weeks upon end.
We, the community are the sole reason for the problems. Therefore it is also upon us to fix these problems and attempt to create harmony. There will never be a perfect game, a perfect community or a perfect staff team, however we can always move one step forward to improving ourselves as people. We'll always rage, we'll always stay stupid things, but from this point on. I beg of you to think of the consequences of your actions. I can't become a better person overnight. Neither can you. None of us are perfect, especially me. I just hope that my opinion and message is enough to at least change one persons mindset, if it is then this message was worth writing and I am satisfied.
Whether or not this account will be banned or not, I hope I can be accepted into this community again by the staff and the players. This thread was not to get Darkai202 unforum banned (However that would be a great bonus), but to lift a weight off my chest that has plagued me ever since I got banned in the first place. You don't have to accept me, you don't have to forgive me either. I just want you to read this, and to who it concerns I am dearly sorry.
TL;DR: I was a dumb little kid, got mad over Minecraft and became a jerk in general and this is the start of myself trying to reform as a person and start anew with players who I previously disagreed with.
Sincere apologies,
Nick 'Darkrai202'
At first, I couldn't care less. I was losing interest in MCSG anyway. I became incredibly toxic in-game and truthfully, wins were the only thing on my mind. Being a positive rolemodel? Nah, everyone who kills me is trash, who cares? Someone has a different opinion than me? Probably some random who has no idea what they're talking about, better trash talk them. I had a toxic mentality for a large duration of playing this game. Although my ban on the forum was for some lame evidence put together in a rush, it was well deserved.
My influence on people, all though I didn't realise at the time was a part in creating a toxic and negative community. In Australia, many players are negative towards each other with no real intention, it's just nature. Although, the blame isn't all on me I do believe that being a highly ranked player and an 'idol' made other players act more like I did. My general belief was that I was a kid. Whatever other people did wasn't my problem and it's true for the most part. However, the things people get mad about in this game? Abuse? Harassment? This game is a product that WE created. The community, and higher up players in general are to blame.
I got many comments about my behaviour, I laughed at them and I still do. Most of it was "Because you're a highly ranked player doesn't give you the right to make fun of others". I laughed at the hypocrisy that their comments presented me. In turn, the people that judged my behaviour were also the people that made fun, and abused others. Was it because they weren't a high rank? Was it because it was 'justified'? Was it because no one would care? Truthfully, I'm not sure. To those people who really want to make a difference in the community criticising others about their behaviour is NOT a key to fixing it. To the staff, banning away your problems is NOT the solution, reform toxic behaviour and reward it. Judging and being unfair to toxic players gives them 'justification' for their actions. I can not stress this enough.
Anyway, skip foward to present day. I recently enquired a member of the senior staff about being unbanned from the forums. I was told it would be brought up in their meeting and I would be emailed about it on the weekend. I still have not recieved that email, and I decided I can't make things right to those who still hold grudges against me by sitting in the shadows and just waiting for everything to go my way. I'm not a better person than I was a year ago now, I'm not more mature and truthfully, I have not changed. I'm just owning up to my actions and attempting to move on. I've lost passion for the game a long time ago, and as such do not care about negativity and hate I get. Because of this, I opened my eyes and saw how my actions were not justified. I'm not going to single anyone out and say sorry individually. If this forum account doesn't get banned, feel free to contact me. I'm more than happy to talk with you.
Withour further adu,
To the staff: My actions have obviously caused you harm and required you to work overtime to solve issues I've caused (and find ways to ban me!
). In all seriousness, the staff are actually good people. Most people are good people if you get to know them. Just because the staff don't like you, or your friend or banned one of your favourite YouTubers does NOT mean they are doing anything wrong. I've been a normal player and a moderator. As such, I can see from both points of view about current affairs. From a clans perspective, the staff are corrupt. From the staffs perspective, clans are troublemakers. Just because you are on the other side of the fence it does not mean they are corrupt, it does not mean that they are wrong and it does not mean that they are trying to hurt you. They all try to improve MCGamer in their own ways, and I have obviously hindered that process. And for that, each and every single member of the staff who has had a problem with me. I am truly sorry.To the forumers: Most of you guys, are genuinely nice people and say your viewpoint and what you believe. This is not wrong, however because of this I have bashed on people who have had a different opinion than the one I had, because I believed it to be right. Words can hurt. I'm not necessarily a person to get hurt by things other people say, but I know many members here are insecure and can't stand negative criticism or abuse. I've probably ruined many peoples day, more than once just because of an indifference of opinions. Whether or not I get unbanned or even continue to use the forums, I wish that we can turn over a new leaf and start positively. Almost every forumer is a nice, friendly and helpful person. These are qualities you guys should be proud of. Don't bother hiding you true self because you're scared of peoples reactions. In-game, and IRL. You're all great people. The fact that I've hurt some of you genuinely makes me feel bad as a person, I'm really sorry to some of you especially.
To the in-game community: The in-game community is always perceived as toxic and hateful, I'm partly to blame for a lot of that. I know people who have hated me, laughed with me and I've definitely made friends who I'll never forget from this community, the pain and hatred that we've all shared around is nothing compared to the friendships that were harboured amongst the hatred. We've all shared bad moments together, we've all been toxic together. And hopefully, to those this message reaches out too. I really hope we can respect one another and create a better community.
I've more or less quit the competitive side of the game, xxbenchwarmerxx has only played 1 game since version 2 of MCGamer. I see it staying that way, as the hassle of playing competitively really changes a person into a worse person. I really hope that top players can appreciate the game for something more than getting respect for being good at a video game. You don't have to push yourself through something you don't enjoy. Most of us have put a hefty amount of time to get where we are, instead of wasting it we should be grateful that this game has given us enjoyment for hours, days and weeks upon end.
We, the community are the sole reason for the problems. Therefore it is also upon us to fix these problems and attempt to create harmony. There will never be a perfect game, a perfect community or a perfect staff team, however we can always move one step forward to improving ourselves as people. We'll always rage, we'll always stay stupid things, but from this point on. I beg of you to think of the consequences of your actions. I can't become a better person overnight. Neither can you. None of us are perfect, especially me. I just hope that my opinion and message is enough to at least change one persons mindset, if it is then this message was worth writing and I am satisfied.
Whether or not this account will be banned or not, I hope I can be accepted into this community again by the staff and the players. This thread was not to get Darkai202 unforum banned (However that would be a great bonus), but to lift a weight off my chest that has plagued me ever since I got banned in the first place. You don't have to accept me, you don't have to forgive me either. I just want you to read this, and to who it concerns I am dearly sorry.
TL;DR: I was a dumb little kid, got mad over Minecraft and became a jerk in general and this is the start of myself trying to reform as a person and start anew with players who I previously disagreed with.
Sincere apologies,
Nick 'Darkrai202'
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