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Team Elite's Adventure Map Competition.
- Thread starter Team Elite
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NorthStar
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Ok, here is my entry:
I can see you (guys) in the launching zone, about to start the biggest mission of your careers. I really don't want to put too much pressure on you, but this is a one-in-a-million chance of saving our civilization. Fortunately, the general must have a lot of trust in you, going out into that hellish place we call a world, with the special upgrades I personally developed. Oh dear, I can hear them coming. Go! Go while they are busy invading the tower! Hurry, you are... our... last....................... hope...
Now, if this prologue needs a bit of explaining:
In the prologue the bad guys are currently invading the central tower of the heroes' base. The leader of the heroes entrusted the player(s) with the special powers designed by a scientist, who was communicating with them via radio. The player(s) were preparing to leave and raid the enemy base while the enemies were busy attacking the heroes.
I can see you (guys) in the launching zone, about to start the biggest mission of your careers. I really don't want to put too much pressure on you, but this is a one-in-a-million chance of saving our civilization. Fortunately, the general must have a lot of trust in you, going out into that hellish place we call a world, with the special upgrades I personally developed. Oh dear, I can hear them coming. Go! Go while they are busy invading the tower! Hurry, you are... our... last....................... hope...
Now, if this prologue needs a bit of explaining:
In the prologue the bad guys are currently invading the central tower of the heroes' base. The leader of the heroes entrusted the player(s) with the special powers designed by a scientist, who was communicating with them via radio. The player(s) were preparing to leave and raid the enemy base while the enemies were busy attacking the heroes.
Mamiamato24
Diamond
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This one may be too novel-like, but I will still submit since I don't feel like making another. I couldn't incorporate much of the plot, since the main character is the brother of one of the people getting the super powers. But #yolo.
On that faithful day, they came bustling into our dwelling and stole my beloved brother. I can still vision that frantic scene so vividly, no matter how greatly I try to misrecollect it. They clutched him, and ran off into the night. No explanations, no reasoning. Nothing. My mother and I were abashed. Paralyzed, we stood and watched him slip away. A pair of vivid, turquoise eyes faded into the distance. I miss him dearly.
I was determined to get to the bottom of this case. On that night, I was trying to observe where he was being taken. The heavy fog obscured my vision greatly, but I managed to discover that they took him to the giant building in our city's center. I decided that discovering what was inside that building would bring me one step closer to finding my brother. Nobody knew what happened in that building, the government kept it so secretive. All that was told to us was that they've invested in some far-fetched program that involved super powers.
The next day, I was departing my dwelling for school, when the sky turned into darkness. I looked above me, only to see a dark shadow raining upon me. And then, the screams. People frantically running around aimlessly, not knowing what to do, and what was going on. And then, the noises. Lasers firing, bombs exploding. All doors were hastily locked and I was out in the open.
I was in a state of great distress. Whatever happened here on out would determine life and death for me. As I began to lose hope, I heard a loud crash of glass originating from the mysterious building and stumbled onto the cold, hard concrete of the road. I distinguished, through the cloud of dust and rubble, seven people swiftly shoot out of the building, and into the sky, approaching and attacking the enemies. Through the cloud of dust and rubble, I caught a glimpse of, obscurely, a pair of vivid, turquoise eyes.
EXPLANATIONS:
- The brother was kidnapped and brought to the building because he was part of the super powers program, and they foresaw the event in advance. They used this method to hastily recruit all seven members.
- The darkness above the main character's head was a giant spaceship.
- When he caught the glimpse of the turquoise eyes, it was his brother going into combat (duh, herp).
- When they crashed out of the building, all of them chose flight (when they had to choose their powers), and they flew up to the enemy ship to attack.
I hope my entry has a chance :3
L
Lululioness
Guest
I finished my entry but I'll probably end up refining it to often 
--
It was a normal day after work. I was walking home from my cluttered office, filled with official contracts and paper work to fill out. Cars and hover boards were flying past in a swirl of light, people were walking briskly home in order to meet their families. All this was in the shadow of the Centre building, the chambers of the most important records of all Time.
It was huge. Mahogany pillars, stretching up hundreds of metres, engulfed the building which was made out of metallic metal. There were sections of tinted glass, wrapping its way around the cylinder-like building. Inside there were thousands of workers, all scientists and researchers, developing some kind of phenomenon for the President.
Millions had died in the building of this enormous construction. This was built before we had hover boards resulting in many falling off the top of the construction. The building was built by people in poverty, people who had nothing to lose. They were worked in hard labour, labour hard enough to bring them down to skin and bone. They were building in malaria zone, before we had vaccine that worked one hundred percent of the time. People were committing suicide, by jumping off the sides of the construction and stabbing themselves with the excruciatingly sharp metal used to build.
This is why it took thousands of years to build.
I didn't know why they needed such a grand building for the records of the War, but no one knew except the President himself. He knew he was the leader of the Greatest Empire of our time. He was a very presumptuous man of many wonders and was never seen outside his home, yet he seemed to keep our Empire running smoothly.
A crack jolted me out of my pondering state of mind.
Chaos erupted.
The ground began to rumble. I had no idea what was happening, yet it felt that what was happening was bad, very bad. Dust began to rise in the distance as a silhouette began to emerge. I was on the main road to the Centre building, petrified. Could not move. It was if whatever it was had cast a spell on me, forcing me to stay frozen in the middle of the road. Winds were hurtling people and metal past me and a pair of hands grabbed me and threw me towards the nearest building. When I recovered from the blow, I got up and brushed myself off. I scrambled into the building, my legs numb from the sudden cold in the air.
The pair of hands that had saved me from my paralysation was from a hooded figure of a girl. She was dashing up and down the main road ushering people into buildings and carrying the young ones to safety. As the silhouette became closer and closer, it seemed that our whole city was deserted. The winds and dust layers became thicker and stronger, closer and more frightening.
The sky plunged into darkness as the silhouette suddenly was no longer a silhouette. It was a squad of twenty-four soldiers, dressed in black leather and flowing black cloaks. Each soldier had a deathly dagger at their waste and held a shining black rifle. I crouched down below the windowsill low enough to still see outside through the glass. The soldiers patrolled the main road grabbing people out of buildings and ruthlessly stabbing them.
The main road of what once was stone, became a blood-spattered graveyard.
Three soldiers headed into the centre building. It was impossible to get to the War records, but what else did they want? They soon returned outside holding six viles of green liquid.
“We’ll be back, Azuria, we’ll be back!” the largest of the soldiers yelled, after they were content with their doings. I let out an objecting gasp.
Azuria. That was the cities’ name in the dark ages, the war between the Past and the Future. No one spoke of the name, the war or anything in between. The soldier meant those words as an insult. A dark insult. Someone who ever said that would be jailed for life. In the lowest dungeon.
Why did the President be so unprepared for this? Did he think we were untouchable? He had no one to defend us against any attack. We were so sheltered, and almost forgot about war. We didn't even think that this could happen.
I walked outside and was greeted by horror. Inside organs were splattered on the stone. People were curled up in strained positions. Buildings were smashed, vandalised. I ran down the main road and gazed out at the city below me. The city was gone, almost a ghost town. There were people out there injured, crying out for help- I could feel it. Ruined.
This was like the day I woke up to several crushed bodies at the foot of the Centre building.
I ran, ran over towards the President's home in the hill. What was once luscious green forest had turned to black, smouldering coals. A sense of horror seeped into my chest. How did a squad of soldiers cause so much havoc, and what were they after?
What were they after?
As a approached the front of the President's home, I had to stop to admire it. The birch wood engulfing the house by spinning itself around the building in strips gave off an elegant feeling for the land. It had glass floor to ceiling windows on the side facing out to the city.
I lift my hand to knock on the door. It was as if my soul lifted itself out of my body, leaving my had trembling, with its own solitary ways. I closed my eyes and knocked three times on the door. I heard footsteps coming and the door swung open. My eyes opened to a small man dressed in white.
He reminded me of something.
The coruscating cloth used to make the suit was made by my younger sister. My brain snapped towards my family. Sweat broke out on my forehead. Where were they? Were they okay? Were they d-
I had to stop my mind right there. I didn't want to think of the possibilities.
"What brings you here young sir, on this fine morning?", The President asked in a displeased nature,"And who gave your permission to run through the gates?"
"S-si-sir", I stammered quietly ,"Look out the window". The President raised his eyebrows and stifled a laugh but obediently walked over to look outside. His smirk from before disappeared with a flash. His shoulders sagged and he turned around to face me.
"My boy, what happened?" he asked frantically. I took a deep breath and began.
"This-er, squad of soldiers came and ruined the city. They had a massive monster of a machine roaming through the streets. They ran into the Centre building and stole something, I'm sure of it".
The President's face went cold.
"They're coming back", he muttered angrily,"They're coming back!". "Coming back for what?", I worriedly asked,"What do they want?".
The President then began to tell me about his brother. He was jealous of the President, so the President banished him from the city. His brother wanted the substance in the vile.
"That's all I can tell, I'm afraid", The President uttered sadly. He then lay down on the floor.
And he was gone.
After that day, I vowed to never let this happen again. I would create my own Soldiers and fight back. When the squad came back to bring our city down, we would be prepared. They wouldn’t ever come in and ruin the city for no reason. They would be ruined, for a reason.
I vowed.
Ok so some explaining. These can also be incorporated into the main story. Also, I can shorten it if you wish, as it's 1269 words long
--
It was a normal day after work. I was walking home from my cluttered office, filled with official contracts and paper work to fill out. Cars and hover boards were flying past in a swirl of light, people were walking briskly home in order to meet their families. All this was in the shadow of the Centre building, the chambers of the most important records of all Time.
It was huge. Mahogany pillars, stretching up hundreds of metres, engulfed the building which was made out of metallic metal. There were sections of tinted glass, wrapping its way around the cylinder-like building. Inside there were thousands of workers, all scientists and researchers, developing some kind of phenomenon for the President.
Millions had died in the building of this enormous construction. This was built before we had hover boards resulting in many falling off the top of the construction. The building was built by people in poverty, people who had nothing to lose. They were worked in hard labour, labour hard enough to bring them down to skin and bone. They were building in malaria zone, before we had vaccine that worked one hundred percent of the time. People were committing suicide, by jumping off the sides of the construction and stabbing themselves with the excruciatingly sharp metal used to build.
This is why it took thousands of years to build.
I didn't know why they needed such a grand building for the records of the War, but no one knew except the President himself. He knew he was the leader of the Greatest Empire of our time. He was a very presumptuous man of many wonders and was never seen outside his home, yet he seemed to keep our Empire running smoothly.
A crack jolted me out of my pondering state of mind.
Chaos erupted.
The ground began to rumble. I had no idea what was happening, yet it felt that what was happening was bad, very bad. Dust began to rise in the distance as a silhouette began to emerge. I was on the main road to the Centre building, petrified. Could not move. It was if whatever it was had cast a spell on me, forcing me to stay frozen in the middle of the road. Winds were hurtling people and metal past me and a pair of hands grabbed me and threw me towards the nearest building. When I recovered from the blow, I got up and brushed myself off. I scrambled into the building, my legs numb from the sudden cold in the air.
The pair of hands that had saved me from my paralysation was from a hooded figure of a girl. She was dashing up and down the main road ushering people into buildings and carrying the young ones to safety. As the silhouette became closer and closer, it seemed that our whole city was deserted. The winds and dust layers became thicker and stronger, closer and more frightening.
The sky plunged into darkness as the silhouette suddenly was no longer a silhouette. It was a squad of twenty-four soldiers, dressed in black leather and flowing black cloaks. Each soldier had a deathly dagger at their waste and held a shining black rifle. I crouched down below the windowsill low enough to still see outside through the glass. The soldiers patrolled the main road grabbing people out of buildings and ruthlessly stabbing them.
The main road of what once was stone, became a blood-spattered graveyard.
Three soldiers headed into the centre building. It was impossible to get to the War records, but what else did they want? They soon returned outside holding six viles of green liquid.
“We’ll be back, Azuria, we’ll be back!” the largest of the soldiers yelled, after they were content with their doings. I let out an objecting gasp.
Azuria. That was the cities’ name in the dark ages, the war between the Past and the Future. No one spoke of the name, the war or anything in between. The soldier meant those words as an insult. A dark insult. Someone who ever said that would be jailed for life. In the lowest dungeon.
Why did the President be so unprepared for this? Did he think we were untouchable? He had no one to defend us against any attack. We were so sheltered, and almost forgot about war. We didn't even think that this could happen.
I walked outside and was greeted by horror. Inside organs were splattered on the stone. People were curled up in strained positions. Buildings were smashed, vandalised. I ran down the main road and gazed out at the city below me. The city was gone, almost a ghost town. There were people out there injured, crying out for help- I could feel it. Ruined.
This was like the day I woke up to several crushed bodies at the foot of the Centre building.
I ran, ran over towards the President's home in the hill. What was once luscious green forest had turned to black, smouldering coals. A sense of horror seeped into my chest. How did a squad of soldiers cause so much havoc, and what were they after?
What were they after?
As a approached the front of the President's home, I had to stop to admire it. The birch wood engulfing the house by spinning itself around the building in strips gave off an elegant feeling for the land. It had glass floor to ceiling windows on the side facing out to the city.
I lift my hand to knock on the door. It was as if my soul lifted itself out of my body, leaving my had trembling, with its own solitary ways. I closed my eyes and knocked three times on the door. I heard footsteps coming and the door swung open. My eyes opened to a small man dressed in white.
He reminded me of something.
The coruscating cloth used to make the suit was made by my younger sister. My brain snapped towards my family. Sweat broke out on my forehead. Where were they? Were they okay? Were they d-
I had to stop my mind right there. I didn't want to think of the possibilities.
"What brings you here young sir, on this fine morning?", The President asked in a displeased nature,"And who gave your permission to run through the gates?"
"S-si-sir", I stammered quietly ,"Look out the window". The President raised his eyebrows and stifled a laugh but obediently walked over to look outside. His smirk from before disappeared with a flash. His shoulders sagged and he turned around to face me.
"My boy, what happened?" he asked frantically. I took a deep breath and began.
"This-er, squad of soldiers came and ruined the city. They had a massive monster of a machine roaming through the streets. They ran into the Centre building and stole something, I'm sure of it".
The President's face went cold.
"They're coming back", he muttered angrily,"They're coming back!". "Coming back for what?", I worriedly asked,"What do they want?".
The President then began to tell me about his brother. He was jealous of the President, so the President banished him from the city. His brother wanted the substance in the vile.
"That's all I can tell, I'm afraid", The President uttered sadly. He then lay down on the floor.
And he was gone.
After that day, I vowed to never let this happen again. I would create my own Soldiers and fight back. When the squad came back to bring our city down, we would be prepared. They wouldn’t ever come in and ruin the city for no reason. They would be ruined, for a reason.
I vowed.
Ok so some explaining. These can also be incorporated into the main story. Also, I can shorten it if you wish, as it's 1269 words long
- The soldiers also re-build the city with the help of survivors.
- The dungeon mentioned should be incorporated into the map.
- The Centre building holds the only record of the Past and Future war. The baddies try to steal that.
- There are 24 soldiers. The reason for this is that the cornucopia would be the soldier's main training ground and they start on the pedestals to sparr, etc.
- Parts of the Central building get turned into the soldier training ground.
- The rest of the survivors are given labour (but are treated well) to create a base and get food, water and other requirements for everyone.
- The prologue character dies and his son takes over (before the story begins).
- The prologue characters' son is all emotional and works hard for his father.
- The girl that saves the person becomes the leader of the soldiers throughout the game.
- The person in this story recruits the soldiers.
- At the end the baddies come back and put up a massive fight.
NorthStar
Career
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Why does my entry feel terrible now?
EDIT: Because I don't want to double post.
So, after reading Lulu's and Mamia's. I guess I could rewrite my entry to make it, you know, more detailed and longer. So here is my real entry:
BOOM! I can hear the explosion coming from the base of the tower, the front entrance. The shaking of the building brings me to my knees as I struggle to find something to keep my balance. I peak my head through the window that views the launching zone.
They are still there, preparing to start the biggest mission in the history of our organization. I watch them make the life-changing decision of choosing the powers I specially developed. I hear another explosion, one that sounds much closer than the last. They are running out of time.
"Demitri, how are things going up there?" says a voice coming through my headset. "Not very good, general. The enemy seems to be on the research labs' floor," I respond. "We can't let them get the research for those 'super-soldier powers' you developed. If they do, you can kiss our city, and our people good-bye." The general sounds both nervous, and angry. I start to panic as well, I can hear the footsteps of our enemy running down the hallway.
"That reminds me," said the general. "I need you to keep in contact with the soldiers who are leaving to raid the enemy's base. You are the only person who knows how these powers really work." "B-but they are right outside my lab!" I stutter. "Then hide! Your the smart guy here, don't you know a place where they can't find you?"
Now that I think about it, I do remember one spot where it is both safe and concealed; if I can get there... "They're ready to go. I'm going to set up the signal between you guys," the general informs me. "Ashton said he sent the battle plans to your tablet, so you can multi-task, both explaining the powers and the strategy."
I walk to the door, preparing to make a run for my little hiding spot. I don't hear any footsteps outside, they probably moved on to the higher floors now. It is best to run while I have the chance. "You guys are connected in 3. 2. 1."
Explenations:
EDIT: Because I don't want to double post.
So, after reading Lulu's and Mamia's. I guess I could rewrite my entry to make it, you know, more detailed and longer. So here is my real entry:
BOOM! I can hear the explosion coming from the base of the tower, the front entrance. The shaking of the building brings me to my knees as I struggle to find something to keep my balance. I peak my head through the window that views the launching zone.
They are still there, preparing to start the biggest mission in the history of our organization. I watch them make the life-changing decision of choosing the powers I specially developed. I hear another explosion, one that sounds much closer than the last. They are running out of time.
"Demitri, how are things going up there?" says a voice coming through my headset. "Not very good, general. The enemy seems to be on the research labs' floor," I respond. "We can't let them get the research for those 'super-soldier powers' you developed. If they do, you can kiss our city, and our people good-bye." The general sounds both nervous, and angry. I start to panic as well, I can hear the footsteps of our enemy running down the hallway.
"That reminds me," said the general. "I need you to keep in contact with the soldiers who are leaving to raid the enemy's base. You are the only person who knows how these powers really work." "B-but they are right outside my lab!" I stutter. "Then hide! Your the smart guy here, don't you know a place where they can't find you?"
Now that I think about it, I do remember one spot where it is both safe and concealed; if I can get there... "They're ready to go. I'm going to set up the signal between you guys," the general informs me. "Ashton said he sent the battle plans to your tablet, so you can multi-task, both explaining the powers and the strategy."
I walk to the door, preparing to make a run for my little hiding spot. I don't hear any footsteps outside, they probably moved on to the higher floors now. It is best to run while I have the chance. "You guys are connected in 3. 2. 1."
Explenations:
- The person narrating the story is the creator of the special powers, a scientist named Demitri
- The general of the organization the players are working for got the idea to sneak into and raid the base of their enemy.
- The person named Ashton is a spy for the organization who has sent useful information to Demitri, to explain to the soldier(s) throughout the map.
- Just as the soldier(s) are about to leave, the enemy attacks their base.
- To avoid capture, and possible death, Demitri must run through the base and avoid being spotted by the enemy while explaining the plan.
Mamiamato24
Diamond
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I edited my entry a tiny bit. I just changed a few words. I hope it's allowed, I think it's a bit better now :3
L
Lululioness
Guest
It doesn't really matter as long as you don't change anything after the due date :3
NorthStar
Career
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- Feb 21, 2013
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- 257
Seems like I remade mine just in time.
Zeno
Platinum
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- Jun 12, 2012
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- 7,066
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- 9,985
By 12 PM do you mean noon? Or do you mean 12 AM (Midnight)?The competition will close at 12pm tonight. I will then judge them tomorrow and have the results posted on here by tomorrow night
Or, in European terms: 12:00 or 0:00?
Joshkey
Peacekeeper
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- May 27, 2012
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- 1,391
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- 808
Soz about that i just altered my above post with the correct info lol.
Zeno
Platinum
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2012
- Messages
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- 9,985
Thanks
I just need to do a bit more work on my entry (I stopped working when I got forum banned, because I didn't think I would be able to enter it
). I'll probably get it in within the next few hours. Most likely after my train arrives back where I'm staying.- Status
