Losing faith in friends...

[BenjiBaeb]

Over the past 4 months I've isolated myself from everyone I knew here at MCGamer as much as I can. I went to work, came home, saw my Girlfriend every other day and most days sat my ass down in front of the TV and let the made up story of "The Walking Dead" engulf my being. Every once in a while someone would try to pull me back into the virtual world of Minecraft, the forums and YouTube, but for some reason I never decided to stay for long.

I've spoken to about five people I called friends on MCGamer in the past 3 months. All of those times I've seen them, all I did was build map after map and build after build. Every once in a while I slip from a steady 'I'm feeling some what happy' state into an eerie depressed state where I could care less what I do... I'm do not get teary or upset, just purely depressed about my life and things around me. I think about what would happen if I returned and made new friends here, but what use would that be? I would just return to the same state in a couple of weeks.

I don't know why I decided to log on to the forums this morning. I just got here, started browsing around trying to see if there's even a glimpse of what I was last year left on this forum but, I couldn't find much. Then I just started typing in "off topic" and this is what came out of my head. I suppose that's what this is, just a dumping of my mind on to a thread on the forums. I don't know what else to say. Why do I struggle so much when it comes to this old life I had? I mean, I don't hate that old life, in fact I miss it. I feel like I'm a spare part that people are scared to come into contact with... People look at my name in-game and say who is that Map Maker? What did he do? It feels like they see right through me, I try to make sense of what I do here, but I just can't... I was told I did great things and even thanked by one of the best Administrators of all time, I was even "Best friends" with the guy who changed MCGamer and made it what it was during my time here. He was even named "The Life of the Servers" by many of our friends, a true gentle minded person, with lot's of potential.

Sorry if this all just seems completely pointless and unnecessary, I just needed to put this somewhere and get it out of my head. I hope it helps me move on from this strange phase I'm going through, and helps other people think they can announce the same things if they felt this way.

 

[Giggity69Goo]

I know how you feel bro. The way I got back into this game was by digressing to a new community and just starting over. Trust me, it's a great feeling.

 

[BenjiBaeb]

I know how you feel bro. The way I got back into this game was by digressing to a new community and just starting over. Trust me, it's a great feeling.

Tried so many times, but never seems to work... Guess I just wish I was the same as I was a year ago.. :/

 

[MsKatsu]

I kinda skimmed and and I don't completely see the correlation between the title and the body, but there's one key thing that you should know. Players online are players, not friends.

I know you're probably thinking, "just cause I met them online doesn't mean they can't be a friend, that's ridiculous!".. I used to think the same exact way, until I kind of stepped away from my views and tried to see it in a different light.

These "friends" on video games primarily will only talk about the video game rather than support each other and be there for each other like typical friends should do. If they do, from my experience, it's not very helpful and it's very brief. They will get mad if you never play with them, regardless of your life struggles, and will slowly fade away from you. Thus, bringing on the feeling of 'loneliness' and 'depression'. Only thing is, internet 'friends' are a lot more reliable to contact and are in your presence a lot more than physical friends.

True great friends will stick with each other through thick and thin, and always try and stay in contact and will support each other no matter what. You might have 1 or 2 friends like this online amongst your friend mass, but most of these 'friends' are just players. There's an illusion that they're friends, and sure, the friendly talk and going through the game together is nice, but are these the people who are going to stay with you forever, won't get mad/dissapear if you don't play, or talk to you for hours when you're feeling down while being completely genuine? Probably not.

Anyhow, I know I started rambling on, but this is how I feel about the subject of 'online friends' and they're relationships with us.


>Sidenote: I don't play this game anymore, completely lost interest a year or so ago but I still browse the forums every now and then just to talk to others.

And yes, I miss my old "friends" too who didn't stick by my side. I have a lot of nostalgia and good memories, but in the end they were just other friendly players who I gamed with.

 

[BenjiBaeb]

I kinda skimmed and and I don't completely see the correlation between the title and the body, but there's one key thing that you should know. Players online are players, not friends.

I know you're probably thinking, "just cause I met them online doesn't mean they can't be a friend, that's ridiculous!".. I used to think the same exact way, until I kind of stepped away from my views and tried to see it in a different light.

These "friends" on video games primarily will only talk about the video game rather than support each other and be there for each other like typical friends should do. If they do, from my experience, it's not very helpful and it's very brief. They will get mad if you never play with them, regardless of your life struggles, and will slowly fade away from you. Thus, bringing on the feeling of 'loneliness' and 'depression'. Only thing is, internet 'friends' are a lot more reliable to contact and are in your presence a lot more than physical friends.

True great friends will stick with each other through thick and thin, and always try and stay in contact and will support each other no matter what. You might have 1 or 2 friends like this online amongst your friend mass, but most of these 'friends' are just players. There's an illusion that they're friends, and sure, the friendly talk and going through the game together is nice, but are these the people who are going to stay with you forever, won't get mad/dissapear if you don't play, or talk to you for hours when you're feeling down while being completely genuine? Probably not.

Anyhow, I know I started rambling on, but this is how I feel about the subject of 'online friends' and they're relationships with us.


>Sidenote: I don't play this game anymore, completely lost interest a year or so ago but I still browse the forums every now and then just to talk to others.

And yes, I miss my old "friends" too who didn't stick by my side. I have a lot of nostalgia and good memories, but in the end they were just other friendly players who I gamed with.

Well I see your points, and they seem helpful. However, the friends I talk about are the ones that were truly there for me, that I met in person and the ones who spent their days caring for me in the same way I did them.

I have a nice life outside of MC however, there is still the feeling that something is missing and of course that's the people I had on here.

 

[MoLoToV]

Sounds it might be time for you to move on to something different

 

[MsKatsu]

Well I see your points, and they seem helpful. However, the friends I talk about are the ones that were truly there for me, that I met in person and the ones who spent their days caring for me in the same way I did them.

I have a nice life outside of MC however, there is still the feeling that something is missing and of course that's the people I had on here.

If I can pitch in on the whole loneliness thing, I no longer talk to my old boyfriend, and I only actively talk to one internet friend now. I used to have a good group of about ~30 really good friends who I'd actively talk to everyday and did everything with. I have a lot of memories with them, but unfortunately, they've all vanished from my life. I miss every single one of them deeply, and I hope maybe someday a couple of them will reconnect with me..

Not only that, but I've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation. I feel very alone, it doesn't really seem like I'm close with anymore. My single internet friend that I still talk to isn't similar to me in the slightest, so we don't really get too close and personal. Not only that, but he refuses to talk to me via voice or video regardless of the fact that I'm one of his closest internet friends and we've known each other for years.. I know he's only thinking about himself and how he's shy, which I understand, but it really hurts me as I feel so isolated and disconnected from everyone.. I miss sitting in skype calls talking to my old friends and my old boyfriend and just laughing and making memories.. Writing this is honestly making me tear up really badly..

I live by myself in a single bedroom apartment, and I don't work nor do I go to school right now. So pretty much, I'm alone 24/7. Trying my hardest to stay away from suicidal temptation, so I've been taking some different types of medications.

The only hope I have is maybe once I start up school I can find some people who I can bond with and become close to so I can move in with them, hopefully to become lifelong friends..

Anyhow, tl;dr, I can relate in one way or another.

Edit: Annnddd now I'm crying. Doesn't help that I try to be super nice to everyone on other forums so nobody ever really asks me if I'm doing okay.. I just don't want to be THAT person who's always sad and depressed and radiates negative energy..

 

[SuperMCSam]

Sounds it might be time for you to move on to something different

csgo

 

[Gule]

Over the past 4 months I've isolated myself from everyone I knew here at MCGamer as much as I can. I went to work, came home, saw my Girlfriend every other day and most days sat my ass down in front of the TV and let the made up story of "The Walking Dead" engulf my being. Every once in a while someone would try to pull me back into the virtual world of Minecraft, the forums and YouTube, but for some reason I never decided to stay for long.

I've spoken to about five people I called friends on MCGamer in the past 3 months. All of those times I've seen them, all I did was build map after map and build after build. Every once in a while I slip from a steady 'I'm feeling some what happy' state into an eerie depressed state where I could care less what I do... I'm do not get teary or upset, just purely depressed about my life and things around me. I think about what would happen if I returned and made new friends here, but what use would that be? I would just return to the same state in a couple of weeks.

I don't know why I decided to log on to the forums this morning. I just got here, started browsing around trying to see if there's even a glimpse of what I was last year left on this forum but, I couldn't find much. Then I just started typing in "off topic" and this is what came out of my head. I suppose that's what this is, just a dumping of my mind on to a thread on the forums. I don't know what else to say. Why do I struggle so much when it comes to this old life I had? I mean, I don't hate that old life, in fact I miss it. I feel like I'm a spare part that people are scared to come into contact with... People look at my name in-game and say who is that Map Maker? What did he do? It feels like they see right through me, I try to make sense of what I do here, but I just can't... I was told I did great things and even thanked by one of the best Administrators of all time, I was even "Best friends" with the guy who changed MCGamer and made it what it was during my time here. He was even named "The Life of the Servers" by many of our friends, a true gentle minded person, with lot's of potential.

Sorry if this all just seems completely pointless and unnecessary, I just needed to put this somewhere and get it out of my head. I hope it helps me move on from this strange phase I'm going through, and helps other people think they can announce the same things if they felt this way.

The thing is that why i get on here is because i know someone actually cares about me but Ben we all know when you get home you always have someone actually waiting on you. Ben i will be proud to call you a friend and even bff.

 

[Dave]

Ben you know I'm always there for you your like my little brother and there is not a thing that could ever change that just remember no matter what I got your back dude you are one of the few people that stood by me when I resigned and have always been there if you ever need someone to talk to you have my digits <3

 

[Gule]

Ben you know I'm always there for you your like my little brother and there is not a thing that could ever change that just remember no matter what I got your back dude you are one of the few people that stood by me when I resigned and have always been there if you ever need someone to talk to you have my digits <3

Dave you are always there for me too and Ben you helped me with a lot of problems that i have even though you are a rough guy i love you Dave i know you like me too deep inside.

 

[Axanite | Liam]

Ben, although I may not seem to care sometimes, trust me.. I do care. Whenever you want to talk, I'm there... I've seen you as a friend, as a best friend in the ~2 years I've known you.. You've always been there for me as somebody who I can talk to about almost anything.... whether that be personal things I just need to rant about or talk to somebody about or whether it's about online things...

When you kind of dissappeared the first time, I was worried... I was scared, and even though it's now happened multiple times, I've gotten even more worried & scared for you - even though I may be just an 'online friend' to a lot of people, I care about these friends a lot and to be fair, maybe even more than I kind of care about some of my IRL friends.

This community has given me the best set of friends I could ever ask for, including yourself. All I can say is what pretty much everyone else has said so I'm just not going to repeat it - remember, I'm always here for you whenever you need it, you've got my Kik, you've got my phone number... Do what is right for yourself. c: