The Pun Thread

[Otto]

Don't trust teamers that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.

I used to have a fear of Treacherous Hights, but I got over it.

I saw a nice looking player with a fishing rod, man were they stunning!

 

[OhFancy]

Do you NoahSailer that could lend a hand on my boat?

I'm SOhFancy.

Can you please Mufasa, I'm trying to get through. ChadTheDJ

 

[FadingPixels]

I think you farted because you blew me away.

 

[Miner9823]

Did you hear of the guy who got hit in the head with the can? He's lucky it was only a soft drink.

Yes, I searched the internet for this pun because I'm very unpunny.

 

[Mitch]

I was wandering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

 

[xPenguini]

Teacher: Now class do the simple algebra problem on the board.
*A couple minutes later*
Teacher: Who can raise their hand and tell me the answer?
*Scans the classroom for someone who would know the answer (answer= 1/2x)
Teacher: The same two people?! I would expect 1/2 the class to get this.

 

[AlgerWaterlow]

Generic Pun: Moses's half-sister went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little "prophet."

My buns are hot.
Edit: I was going to put a picture of hot buns, like the ones that you eat. However, when I went on Google Images with the search "hot buns", I got lots of ladies buns. Wups. Had to evacuate the scene. I should have seen that coming lol.

I searched "hot bakery buns" and the only results were bread-related (if slightly suggestive). The first one was this:

 

[Nick30Brodeur]

I hack but no one noduses

Screenshotted, reported, banned

 

[Fireized]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.