CHAPTER 1
This is a story, about a guy, just a guy. I used to be proud, I used to be up there, top 50 of them all, #1 of CA. That was a while back though. Now I am just a regular player, getting beaten by everyone. Winning is almost a matter of luck now, but either way, this story shouldn't be about my survival games career. I am in my room, writing because I can. I have my own little issues. They used to be all about the internet, but now I don't have much more of a choice then to integrate myself in the real world. Not that the people are douches, at least most of them aren't. It's just that the only way you hang out is drinking, smoking and watching horror movies. Yeah it can be some good fun having a drink or two to feel all warmed up, but they just over-do it. Then there are the other people, the people that I never met. I just hear about them, about how the only thing they care about is money. And about themselves. They go chopping down the rainforest or overfishing the oceans but no one cares cause they are all too busy with themselves. That's why I'm in the internet in the first place, in this minecraft community full of nice and funny people with about the same interests. I can forget about the real world issues, they scare me. But even here it's just getting worse, people becoming loud and immature. The friends I have are getting fewer. Then there are a couple of real life friends that I really love being with, but they too are surrounded by ignorant people which just get in the way. Minecraft was what got my started, at least partially. My first online relationship was over sg, and it went so far that I went to visit the girl and we spent two beautiful weeks together over Christmas. But people change, rumors appear quite easily, and I hate them. Rumors are every ones enemy, they just drive people apart. One of them got so far that at one point I felt like I had close to no friends here anymore, because I had apparently "stolen" some other persons girlfriend. No one really knows the true story because it was covered up so well and everyone believed him, they didn't know that me and her were in a call together the whole night during which the drama started. I got hate messages, hate messages from people I would have least expected. People ruined other people for me. I got over that part, I am pretty good at socializing myself back. There are still some good people, people where when I talk to them I get really, really happy. But they will be kept secret, those people probably know themselves that they are meant.
Next year, I am going to university. Life will change a lot, I will miss what I have to leave behind, but that too only to a certain extent. I just fear that I'm too late. That I won't be able to help. Help change the world before it's too late. Stop the exploitation, of people and animals and things. It's not that I want to be a hero, it's that I want there to be something, something for the future, for what is to come.
Well then, I literally just got a call from this girl. I like her, she likes me, but she can't deal with relationships, the label of being in a relationship. Friends with benefits it is, just without the sexual contact. At least probably. Luckily she is completely drunk so we can talk about it again tomorrow.
We'll see how that goes. It might be a great day tomorrow, it might be beautiful. She wasn't lying about what she was saying, but she doesn't understand it either, her mind is blurred. I don't blame her, she's gone through tough times. That's why she doesn't want to be in a relationship, she doesn't want to risk becoming attached and then losing it. I wonder how much I am able to write, if I have limitless amount of space.
CHAPTER 2
So it turns out that I was wrong. I thought I knew the girl, her name is Britt, but I only knew what she used to be. But now she is different. We were camping, me and the bunch of friends. They told me to act spontaneous, not to say a word but to take her by her hips and kiss her on the lips. They said that if I were to start talking about the relationship and stuff, she'd get scared. So anyways, I did that. The result was that it didn't help, it didn't make a difference to her. I gave up on her by now anyways and I'm really glad I did. I feel like I only have one friend to talk to now, Noémie. She's the other girl, the one that was trying to help me. But she got somewhat betrayed as well. Britt never actually had any problems, she only has this issue that she blocks off, she has a wall that makes her feel like she's strong and she doesn't realize what she's doing to herself and others. She just pretends to be this tough girl, not opening up to anyone... I never thought that could be what it was, but it really was. She's pretty much always together with Ashley now, but all they do is stupid things. When Britt get's really sad, Noémie tries to cheer her up, she is the kindest soul in the world, her and her sister as well. To be honest, I love those two. Anyways she does everything she can to cheer her up, but Britt stays depressed. Then when Ashley comes along, get's completely drunk and acts completely stupid she cheers up again. I mean what's the use of kindness if stupidity is enough? We took a walk together this night, pretty much being split up in two groups. Noémie, her sister and me, and then there was Ashley and Britt, trailing behind, hitting signs and being stupid. It makes me sad to see such a change, she is not the girl that I became friends with, she is not the girl that Noémie became friends with. But what really makes me incredibly sad is that Noémie is leaving next year, going to the U.S. I don't ever want her to leave, she's turned almost into a sister to me. I know we still have 10 months but still, I can't get over it. I mean yeah, I have other friends, but that's different. I can't talk to them like I can talk to her. I guess we can still skype and meet up every once in a while, but it seems like that wouldn't be enough for me. I've become so attached to her, she is so sweet it makes me want to cry.
