JamalTheAmericanMedic
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2013
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 249
I was born June 9, 1969 in Fort Cratesville, Noshahr. I was named Jamal Grenáde when I was born in Chuck Norris Training Hospital. I was a very beautiful child. I only cried twice as an infant, once when I was hit by a bus when I was 4, and then when Firefly was cancelled when I was 6.
When I was 7, I enrolled in the Noobstown Military Training Academy. When I was 11, in my prime stage of nub, I first became a medic. Almost immediately in rank 1, the Majors noticed, that I (Yes, me, Jamal) was one of the greatest grenade yellers in all of Noshahr.
When I was 15, and well into my ranks of Private, the American Military recruited me. I was a Medic in the American-Russian War of 1992. In my first squad, I befriended a gentlemen name H4rdc0reB4ll3R. We pwned the Russian noobs for many years until one day, I threw a grenade at a pack of nubs who just joined the Military after the Humble Bundle crisis of 2002. I scram, so my team would know that there was a grenade. I unleashed the terror from the deepest crevasse in my vocal cord. Deeper than Blamph, more majestic than Morgan Freenman, more beautiful than Susan Boyal.
"THERE'S A GRENAAAAAAAAAAAADE." -Sg. Jamal Grenáde, Lv. 13, Sixty-Ninth Division, February 30, 2002.
Time froze.
Enemies stood still. Bullets stop firing from P90s. Level 100 no-life's stopped nubbing noobs. 2legit2quit stopped going 800/2 because of his extreme aimbot. swagmaster69yolo stopped having an accuracy of 174%. Nubs stopped sniping everyone .2 seconds after people spawned. XxXTryhardScrubXxX stopped getting a ping of 17666. Only a 7-year old German child kept dropping C4 all over the map.
Pure silence.
Because of me, the Russians and Americans both surrendered and the war was over. Afterwards, I launched a company named Jamal Industries which, for a small price of $15 per map, I would have myself, or a company representative scream, "THERE'S A GRENAAAAAAAAAADE" every time a grenade was visible on the ground.
As soon as my company launched in Downtown Bazaar, EA paid me 250,000 points per scream to yell the classic line after EA convinced the United States to go to war against the Russians because of a small island of the coast of Alaska that both countries wanted. And now, every time a grenade falls on the ground because of that war, I yell "THERE'S A GRENAAAAAADE".
I now live in Twoezstemrool, Nebraska with my wife Shane. I have two beautiful children, Daaiqui'ana and Qwontreal. My hobbies include fishing, camping and illegally downloading old episodes of Firefly and Modern Family. (#TeamGloria)
This is my life story, and my name is Jamal.
If your in a sticky situation (literally or not), just remember...
"THERE'S A GRENAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!"
When I was 7, I enrolled in the Noobstown Military Training Academy. When I was 11, in my prime stage of nub, I first became a medic. Almost immediately in rank 1, the Majors noticed, that I (Yes, me, Jamal) was one of the greatest grenade yellers in all of Noshahr.
When I was 15, and well into my ranks of Private, the American Military recruited me. I was a Medic in the American-Russian War of 1992. In my first squad, I befriended a gentlemen name H4rdc0reB4ll3R. We pwned the Russian noobs for many years until one day, I threw a grenade at a pack of nubs who just joined the Military after the Humble Bundle crisis of 2002. I scram, so my team would know that there was a grenade. I unleashed the terror from the deepest crevasse in my vocal cord. Deeper than Blamph, more majestic than Morgan Freenman, more beautiful than Susan Boyal.
"THERE'S A GRENAAAAAAAAAAAADE." -Sg. Jamal Grenáde, Lv. 13, Sixty-Ninth Division, February 30, 2002.
Time froze.
Enemies stood still. Bullets stop firing from P90s. Level 100 no-life's stopped nubbing noobs. 2legit2quit stopped going 800/2 because of his extreme aimbot. swagmaster69yolo stopped having an accuracy of 174%. Nubs stopped sniping everyone .2 seconds after people spawned. XxXTryhardScrubXxX stopped getting a ping of 17666. Only a 7-year old German child kept dropping C4 all over the map.
Pure silence.
Because of me, the Russians and Americans both surrendered and the war was over. Afterwards, I launched a company named Jamal Industries which, for a small price of $15 per map, I would have myself, or a company representative scream, "THERE'S A GRENAAAAAAAAAADE" every time a grenade was visible on the ground.
As soon as my company launched in Downtown Bazaar, EA paid me 250,000 points per scream to yell the classic line after EA convinced the United States to go to war against the Russians because of a small island of the coast of Alaska that both countries wanted. And now, every time a grenade falls on the ground because of that war, I yell "THERE'S A GRENAAAAAADE".
I now live in Twoezstemrool, Nebraska with my wife Shane. I have two beautiful children, Daaiqui'ana and Qwontreal. My hobbies include fishing, camping and illegally downloading old episodes of Firefly and Modern Family. (#TeamGloria)
This is my life story, and my name is Jamal.
If your in a sticky situation (literally or not), just remember...
"THERE'S A GRENAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!"
