Asking for Advice about a Friend in Need

[BitoBain]

So I really wanted some help/advice about a problem I'm facing, and I know this community can give a good variety of perspectives, so please tell me what you think.

One of my friends, like many teenagers, is questioning her religious beliefs, (she is a christian) and she has asked what she thinks I should do. I can encourage/guide her. She can try to keep going with her current religion and fit in with her family, friends, etc... or just move onto something like atheism or agnosticism. I am an atheist myself but I used to be a christian, so I see both sides, and there are some pros and cons to both.

If she stays with her current religion, I think she will live an overall happier life because she will fit in with friends and family better. There's also the comfort of just belonging to a religion. Ignorance is often bliss. But if she moves on to something else, such as atheism, I believe she will be closer to the real truth about the universe, which is what our fundamental belief systems are about. I also would sort of be lying to try to convince her to stay with her current religion, since I'm not longer a part of it.

So please, any ideas/advice? (And please don't say I'm stupid to ask a gaming community, I've seen plenty of useful and helpful things said around here.)

-Bito​

 

[Aurrah]

A change of religion is a very large choice in life and usually would be best if there were no other influences on that choice. I would tell her to decide for herself because after it is her life, but being that amazing friend you are , you will stand by her choices and support her all the way.

 

[demonsushi]

I think let them know it's a really personal decision and that whatever choice they make is the right one. You should make the choice for yourself not based off of your society around you. Best of luck.

 

[Seth]

Ask her, where do you see yourself in five years, assuming she follows either one of the beliefs. Assure her it doesn't matter about fitting in, life is about proving to yourself who you are, not how the world sees you.

 

[Jusser]

That's a stickky situation you got there o.o

It's hard to give guidance when we know so little about the situation. I'll edit this post when I have more thoughts specifically. Off of the top of my head, if her family's version of Christianity is specifically harming her or restricting her, i.e. a cult, then I would say get her the heck out as soon as you can into something better. If she's simply questioning whether her religion is true or not, then that's not necessarily for you to decide for her. If she's asking specific questions then answer them from your perspective, but just make sure you're right haha.

Ultimately, if her religion is true, if she does the research in an unbiased way, then she should come up with the conclusion that Christianity is true; likewise for any other belief. Her questioning her beliefs is not a bad thing but a good thing; if you believe anything people tell you to then you're living a unhealthy life.

I don't think anyone should willingly be stupid

 

[ThatTyle]

A. Support her in either decision she makes.

B. Tell her not to bring up her beliefs (assuming that she turns to atheism or agnosticism) in front of family, friends, etc. I go to a private academy mainly focused on a flying magical being in the air, and being educated about how "he is almighty". I assure you that bringing up your own personal beliefs will only tussle their jimmies.

 

[Jusser]

B. Tell her not to bring up her beliefs (assuming that she turns to atheism or agnosticism) in front of family, friends, etc. I go to a private academy mainly focused on a flying magical being in the air, and being educated about how "he is almighty". I assure you that bringing up your own personal beliefs will only tussle their jimmies.

I went to a private academy as well, and we had plenty of atheists agnostics buddhists muslim etc go to the school simply because of the academics and not because of the beliefs. My school actually encouraged diversity of thought since people pretending to be a Christian got them nowhere. Don't paint everyone with the same brush my friend

 

[Tenebrous]

Living your life in freedom is the titular goal that billions around the world would die for. I believe your friend should be grateful she has the ability to choose.

As someone who is more interested in what is rather than what I want there to be, I tend to cohere towards atheism/agnosticism; I believe being closer to reality is the best way to live.

There are pros and cons on each. Sometimes wishful thinking is good.

 

[BitoBain]

Thanks so much you all! I definitely think it's her decision to make, but sometimes as a friend you are torn on which way to encourage them.

I think let them know it's a really personal decision and that whatever choice they make is the right one. You should make the choice for yourself not based off of your society around you. Best of luck.

Ask her, where do you see yourself in five years, assuming she follows either one of the beliefs. Assure her it doesn't matter about fitting in, life is about proving to yourself who you are, not how the world sees you.

I think it really is about the individual and not the society, but when you consider happiness, you have to consider that they will get more support if they just blend in with those around them. Kind of a sad fact.

Living your life in freedom is the titular goal that billions around the world would die for. I believe your friend should be grateful she has the ability to choose.

As someone who is more interested in what is rather than what I want there to be, I tend to cohere towards atheism/agnosticism; I believe being closer to reality is the best way to live.Ugh, it's tough.

There are pros and cons on each. Sometimes wishful thinking is good.

I also tend to gravitate towards the way things just "are." But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that most people don't care what reality is as long as they are happy. They don't mind believing in a strange religion that doesn't hold up to logical scrutiny if that religion makes them happy. It's actually puzzling to me that people devote so much of their lives to something so unsteady and unknowable, but I guess it's all about comfort. If you're fine where you are, why change?

I guess that's why it's such a tough moral question, is it better to promote truth or happiness? Thanks for your thoughts

 

[RedstoneWarrior3]

Simple as this ask what they want to do even if its against their families beliefs true families would accept them no matter what

 

[MisiLica]

Try and give her the two sides' benefits and negatives. If you want her to stay with her religion, maybe emphasise the positives for that.

Ultimately, it is her decision and she should be happy with it.

 

[BaccaGaming]

This is a big change in someones life doing what you want to do or what others want you to but overall it is their choice and no one can stop them and who cares what others think it may hurt for a while but will not bother you in the long run.