well
a few years ago i lived in compton due to family issues, and while i was there i learned i had a natural knack for taking care of prostitutes. i became a pimp. i earned a few thousand dollars before becoming addicted to street basketball in the hood, with my ambition of becoming a professional NFL player when i was older. then, my daddy was shot in a drive-by, and i had to put my baseball career on hold to take care of my momma. i used my pimp money to give her everything she needed. one day, while walking back to my home from work, i saw a few kids playing soccer, and i decided to join them. little did i know that while i was playing hockey with these kids, a talent scout was watching, and he asked me if i was interested in going to college on a basketball scholarship. i knew my momma would want me to do it, so i took his offer for a football scholarship. with what was left of my pimp money, i bought myself a place to live, my necessary living needs, and now, i'm known as Shaquille Ruth, the best damn hockey quarterback in history.