Story Time With Andrew
Sunday, April 6th, 2014: 1:20 a.m.
Hello all. Today we are having story time. This story is about the Legend of the Impalers.
Why are we called impalers? I have no f***ing clue. However, here is what I believe is true based on observations and educated guesses. The Impalers were a group of apes living in the Russian tundras. They had discovered Minecraft long before man was introduced into Earth. They knew the game was too complicated for the rest of the creatures in the world, so they buried it. It remained buried until the 21st century. When the human raced was introduced to the ancient technology of Minecraft they were astonished.
We skip a few years ahead to the creation of the impalers. Buried with Minecraft was a specific message written to "The Great Wolf". Everyone of course knew that this great wolf was Andrew 'Andy' Chingchong. When they gave him the letter it wrote as follows:
"Dear Great Wolf,
We have developed this game called Minecraft. In it there will evolve this game type known as Survival Games based on a movie that premieres sometime in your life. Within the community that you will be playing this Survival Game you will be head warrior of a clan referred to as the impalers. It is called the Impalers because of the great BUTYFRUTY master who was always using his ass to open bananas. He became known as the Great Impaler. May you carry on his legacy and remember his greatness.
With great power comes great responsibility. You have several tasks. Make sure to gg steamroll wreck 13 hearts Orgy at least 17.2 times per week. Also, tell your fellow Andrew that he is handsome and is better than you at least twice daily. Also, you must defeat the great spirit before you die.
The fate of the world somehow depends on you. Don't let the Great Impaler, BUTYFRUTY master down.
I'll impale you any day,
Mohammad Mohammad Smith"
That is basically how it went down.
