The Truth

[Equalitee]

Hello everyone!

As I write possibly one of my last threads within the community, I want to thank MCGamer Network and its staff for everything they have been able to provide me in the past year and a half.

This community has given me so much joy, so much direction in life, but it has also destroyed me. It has gotten to the point where I have truly lost who I am as a person. VidCon was the first thing to empower me in my life, it is where I came out to the world, where I decided to be myself, but with recent events, the turtle shell I have tried so hard to build has shattered.

Recently, I've been thinking of many things that I originally thought I would never think of again. I think it's a sign. A sign to move on in life. To find another method of happiness. I would be lying if I said I am going to come back, because right now, I do not see that happening. I tried staying strong. For the people who looked up to me, who saw me as a role model. For the people who have supported me through everything in appreciation for what they have been able to provide for me, but I am at my lowest point in life, again, trying to grasp for the last bit of hope. It's gotten to the point where I am not healthy. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It's destroying me. I need to leave the community. I need counselling.

As a goodbye message to everyone, I would like to thank a few specific people.

ChandelleMC: Literally my twin. We have so much in common. Our laughing moments in the past were so funny. To the point where we would cry of laughter. I will forever miss those.

Mariah | mccluremariah: You are my first MCGamer friend. I will forever love you.

Willy446: We had never really talked until recently. I am glad to have been able to open up to you more before I leave the community.

Jodimo: We don't talk much now, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you are probably one of the most honest, truthful, loving people I have EVER met in my life. I am honestly jealous of all that you have accomplished. Words cannot describe how happy I am for you. You have grown up so much since we have first met. I am glad to have been able to take part in helping you become the person you are today. I remember you telling me all of the issues you had been having in real life, and within the community, and it seems like most of them are gone now, and that you have reached a moment of peace and happiness in your life. I am so happy for you. I have told you this many times before, but I must say it again. The pain I feel when I hear your name, when I see your tweets on Twitter, when I get a Kik message, when you enter the channel on TS, is unbearable. Words cannot describe how much I love you as a person; how much I am in love with you. You will forever be in my heart.

To end this thread, I would like to quote a song and link two videos I hold dear to my heart:

"Skies are crying.
I am watching.
Catching teardrops in my hand.
Only silence has it's ending." - Demi Lovato

​

Thank you all. And as always, remember that you are kind. You are smart. You are important. You are beautiful. You are perfect. But most importantly...you are YOU. <3

Lots of love,

Equalitee | Christopher.

 

[jtmboy]

Wow, this is really saddening, the community will really miss and you you were such a great person, you will be missed<3

 

[Scott]

Thank you for what you have done for the server when you were a moderator, and good luck in the future. Although I didn't talk with you much, you seem like an inspirations and kind-hearted person. Again, good luck <3

 

[Vanicle | Vanessa]

Chris, I'll always remember you as the person that would just join my channels and put a smile on my face back in the day that I muted and sat by myself the entire time. You're such a great guy and I hate to see that you're going through a rough time in your life right now. Let me know if there's anything at all I can do for you. You know I'll always be here to listen to your stories or to google hangout with you and tell you that your eyes are pretty.

I know you said that this probably isn't temporary, but here's to hoping that it is. You know where to find me until then <3

 

[SonicSplit]

I saw you on yesterday,the first part makes no sense to me(unless there is maybe another Equalitee).

 

[Dzbs]

Equalitee, we may not have talked as much, but you are a really cool guy. Don't know if you remember, but a few days ago before I got mod, I had a really long talk with you in hub 8 at 2 am in the morning. Because of talking to you, you helped me gain a lot of confidence into working my way of getting mod, so I'd like to thank you for it. From me and everyone else, you will be deeply missed. But otherwise, I wish you well in your future.

 

[KelsieBree]

I wasn't around when you were a mod, but I wish I could've. You're a great person and it saddens me to see you leave the community. Here's hoping you may come back to us someday! Good luck in your future endeavours and counseling. You will be missed.

 

[JaviGBU]

Wow.

 

[MCGamerzism]

I will always LOL at your tweets <3

 

[RishSA|Imaboss2414]

Equalitee my good friend The moments we shared just laughing in the waiting room, and the experiences we've had together in the moderator chats were so fun I will miss you. Please drop by the teamspeak and say hi sometimes. Have a great life

 

[Ceroria]

I saw you in the hub very frequently backing up the staff and our comments. As a VIP, that is very powerful, and thanks for that c:
You were also very nice and friendly on TS, you'll be missed!

 

[Equalitee]

Am I leaving MCGamer? I have no idea. All I know is that without my MCGamer friends, I would have none at all, I would be by myself because I have given up everything for my internet friends. They have been the ones who have stuck by my side for the last year and a half, and I owe it to them to be there for them, like they were for me, when they need my help.