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Please Rate Thy Essay

Giggity69Goo

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I wrote this essay for a mandatory competition at my school in April. My first draft is due tomorrow and, since I'm a total procrastinator, I just wrote this in an hour XD It's a religious speech since the competition is for all Greek-Orthodox Churches and I go to a Greek-Orthodox school. After all I am Greek. But anyway the topic was
"Rich men turned poor and went hungry; but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing". Discuss the meaning of this hymn for our contemporary world.
You can understand this quote without even being religious XD But anyway here is my essay:




Ladies and Gentlemen, today I will be talking about how the hymn “Rich men turned poor and went hungry; but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing” shows many different effects of society. If you are rich and did not seek the Lord you would turn poor and go hungry because nobody would be there to help you. But, if you were poor and seeked the Lord, you would not lack anything good and live even better than a rich man!


In my opinion, this is a definition of what society is like today. Usually the rich are so overwhelmed with power, they don’t realize how much of it they’re using and how big of a change it is going to affect on their life. They start caring about nothing except their money. But what happens when most of their money is gone? As the hymn said, they turn poor and go hungry. It’s amazing how people act when they are overwhelmed with money!


On the other hand, the poor could end up more successful than a rich man. If he were to worship for the Lord he would get more in return than a rich man who has “too much to care about than the Lord.” Another observation of mine is that poor people are usually nicer and kinder than the rich. You can tell by just finding a homeless person on the street. He/she would be on his best behavior in order to make a few dollars to support himself/herself, or even their family. Something else I notice too is that, with society these days, nobody really “cares” about the poor. Even though they are lying on the street with a piece of cardboard. All lower class citizens are either begging on the street’s or working for a few cents a day to support, as I said before, themselves or their families. But what do we do? We just walk right by them acting like nothing happened and nobody was even their asking me for money.


Everyday I see at least 2 to 3 homeless people on the streets. Sometimes they’re even holding their newborn child. Now think about it. This man or woman is holding a child and sitting on a curb asking for money. Why don’t we just compare their lives to ours. When we were children we were probably all everyone in our family cared about, and were treated like one-month-old Kings and Queens. Now look at these poor, homeless children. The best their parents can do is probably afford money for 1 meal a day. Later on we go to a wonderful private school where the teachers actually care about you and you get a wonderful education. But guess what? That same homeless child is going to a Public School where barely anybody cares about him, except his or her few friends and receiving an education where in 6th Grade you’re just starting to learn your “times table” in multiplication.


I am just disgusted with society these days, now that I’m writing this speech. I realize how cruel people can be these days This hymn, from Psalm 33/34, verse 11 in Orthodox Study Bible, is basically a synopsis of society in one sentence. If I asked “What is society actually like today?” what would you say? I know some people would give me a whole lecture to answer my question. But if someone gave me this hymn as an answer, I would be astonished because it answers my question 100% thoroughly, in just a couple dozen words.


In conclusion, this hymn opens my eyes to life today. Kids like us are getting mad about losing a videogame, or not getting what we want for our birthday. But there are other kids who are mad they can’t get a job. At thirteen years old some children have to get a job to support their family. We can help, but it is our choice not to, and that shows how oblivious we are to everyone elses problems. I hope this speech gives you a different view of society than what it was before, if it was not how I explained it. I also hope it will change what you will do later on in life when you see someone on the street begging for money. All I say is “Walk in their shoes, and see how their life is.”

EDIT: Just want to say thanks if you read the whole thing and remember to tell me if it's good or not!
 

Fleetwood

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"Ladies and Gentlemen, today I will be talking about how the hymn"
Is not a very good opener. It's very dry and sounds rather cliche. You want to start your paper with a hook.
A hook can range from anything such as a question, to a quote, to a interesting fact.

Otherwise, fairly solid paper!
 

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