I need help

[bad2020]

Many of you may not know me, in fact few of you probably do; however I have been a moderator for 4 months, almost, now. I do not post much on the forums and often do not talk much, however recently I have been under severe stress and grief. Recently my neighbor has been going to the hospital and is very sick. He is dying of terminal cancer and is not expected to live much longer. Along with this news a very close family friend has been battling cancer for quite a while and passed away last Thursday. I was in shock due to these reasons and with the pressure from school and work I have been falling behind and didn't know what to do. I have had to take four preliminary tests for two college level courses and two Honor High School classes and studying and preparing for these became a priority. I have taken all the tests and scored above average, this was a relief. But yesterday my friend was taken out of class and left the school. I later found out that cancer that had not been viewed as severe had now exploded to a severe state in my friend's mother. His mother was not expected to live another week and only a couple hours before writing this did I find out that she has passed away. The family is devastated. My friend is a Freshman and he has four brothers two older brothers and two younger brothers, and it was his seven year old brother that was struggling with it the most. I am quite in shock and am affected personally by this. I did not know his mother that well. We had met and talked before but I never really got to know her that well. My friend is struggling with this and is in grief. I am quite shaken up by this and the loss of my other friend. I am having a hard time trying to understand and being able to cope with this. I also have a foreign exchange student from China at my house who speaks very little English and I am having to translate. I am going through a pretty difficult time trying to understand what is going on, stay on top of my homework, and balancing that with extra curricular activities and translating. Due to these factors I am currently not going to be able to get on much if at all. I would really like to hear from you guys and what you guys can suggest to help. I would love to talk to anyone that is willing, I just need people to talk to and work this mess out. Thank you for reading this.

 

[Ceroria]

In 6th grade, a beloved teacher of mine found out her husband had pancreatic cancer. That year we decided to start a dodgeball tournament anually to fund research for his rare type of cancer. She was diagnosed with the same cancer the following year, and missed 6 months of teaching. Fortunately, her cancer was discovered earlier and could be treated appropriately.

In July of this year, approximately 1 month ago, her husband passed away of pancreatic cancer. I haven't seen her since my 8th grade year, but he would've been one of my English teachers this upcoming year.

Situations like this are hard, have everyone keep their heads up and stay strong.

 

[Ranger_zZ]

I wish I could help but as you know, this is the internet. All though I can't help you personally I would like to say sorry for all you are going to and I hope everything ends up well for you and your friends/family. I have also had experience with family/friends having cancer including my aunt who had breast cancer and lived through it and my grandma who had lung cancer, it didn't end as well for her as it did my aunt but I feel she is still with me, you know? Well enough about me, I just hope that what you are going through ends up good and happy. If you ever need someone to talk to pop me a pm.

 

[Jazza]

As for now, and hopefully I speak for the rest of the community when I suggest you should most likely provide extra support and comfort for anyone who you see is currently in a shocked state of mind, purely because of the fact that a video-game isn't going to help solve the jigsaw puzzle.

Extra-curricular activities, although it may help relieve stress by getting out and occupying yourself, you shouldn't be doing a whole lot of them. That can even pile more stress on you. Just one simple activity is all you need.

In regards to your family friend, your school friend's mother and neighbor, they should be your highest priority and if not, one of the highest priorities. I know this because losing a close friend, family or not, feels like you're going through the darkest times in your life and if not, the darkest time of your life so far (I say "so far" because no one can tell what'll come next. Sometimes it's unexpected, sometimes it isn't.)

And from what I can tell, homework is one point in which you can't really change. But you could hopefully inform your teachers as to how much stress you're going through in this phase of life and hopefully they understand and do something about it. Because they've been through it. Everyone's been through it. We understand what you're going through and we can't really make you do anything we tell you to do. But just consider this post with a grain of sand and believe me when I say everything is going to get better in the end. If it isn't better, it's not the end.

Stay strong, my waiting buddy.

 

[AGFire2013]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Life can be incredibly hard and challenging at times, but you have to push through it.
Take care of yourself, your neighbours and your friend. Each of you have limited time left with people who are incredibly special to them, and you should try and enjoy the time you have left with them as much as possible.
For school, try explaining your situation to teachers and explaining your stress so that at least someone there knows what you're going through and understand and hopefully forms a kind of compromise.

Grief is terrible. I know what it's like to lose someone close to you, and if you ever feel you need help make sure you DM me on Slack. I know it's incredibly hard dealing with this, but you have to. You need to say positive and be strong.