Ok, I'm just going to list some improvements that you can make from being an avid MCSG montage viewer, and also as I feel this would benefit you a lot more:
- I didn't like your song choice, it was just that generic Monstercat release that I have seen in about 20 other montages, if reccomend using a song where you can sync the clips to, even if it's very loosely, but having generally slow clips with fast-paced music just doesn't really work.
- As Aedrift has mentioned, the text looked a bit ugly, especially if it's transparent with a high contrast background. I'd reccomend using a song with a varying pace, so you can use a range of clips and will help the overall video flow better.
- The clips were ok, but didn't blow me away at all. Clips in montages count for a good 50-60 %. Without them, it just brings them down.
Good luck with any further montages!
Edit: I am on mobile, so I'm sorry for any contextual or grammatical mistakes, I know there's one in my second point