M
MrMad2000
Guest
Okay, this might seem like a silly question in some cases, but this is also very serious...
Do you suffer from depression?
My mum has Manic Depression, bipolar and Diabeties (Not a mental health issue but it can be traumatizing)
and I feel like I might also suffer from some sort of minor Depression issue.
I've got AD-HD and Autism so that might play a part in it.
Lately i've been feeling very down and depressed. And this is why...
(Don't say it's pathetic or something like that because if I see that i'll be even more depressed)
On the 18th of September, 2013. (The year we're currently in)
I was on facebook and saw a smosh article.
"6 youtube creators who got off with their own movie" and what did I see? Inappropriate body part on a male Figures...
My old friend. @InsanePickaxe, who has quit MCSG, set his skype profile picture to this once, and I was wondering what it is, he told me about it breifly but I didn't like the sound of it...
Now me seeing that smosh article... I WANTED to see what Inappropriate body part on a male Figures really was... I watched ALL the episodes from series 1 - 4 and the music video and stuff. Then seen that the day previous to that. (17th of september) the movie was released... So I watched it online for free (illegal but still) and felt really bad because of the plot twist in the story... I watched it yesterday and almost cried...
Then I thought to myself... "Who are my real friends."
Is it worth being a nerd like me? Who can I trust. I feel like i'm abused and no one cares (i'm not though) but I feel like my friends don't care about me, I feel like I don't have friends, but the couple people on the internet that are NEVER ON because they live in California *Cough Cough* @KatyRoseRain, and that she's busy with school. Or old friends like @Roellie89 or @Copa3797 which I never really talk too much anymore.
I feel like having "internet" friends and only having like 4 proper ones i'm gonna loose contact with in about a few months is disgraceful for me. I have no self-esteem, and feel like no one cares. I used to be known in the MCSG community, i'm now hidden in the dust and when my name is finally heard it's no longer "oh I know that guy" it's like "It rings a bell but he's probably some nerd I hated back in SG V1."
I just don't know anymore... I've actually wanted to commit suicide before but I knew that would be a stupid idea because it wouldn't be worth it (back in early 2012) and then thought Nah... No point in doing that. I'll just go cry in a corner and be a cleaner when i'm older...
I hate who I am. I want to be someone i'm not, but I want to be myself...
I'm 13 and I weigh 16 STONE! That's probably heavier than your mum and/or dad. And i'm only 13!!! I'm super fat, hate sport, socially awkward, stupid (in my opinion) and feel like I have no life value.
I just don't know anymore. I feel like i'm loosing myself without knowing. I wanna be a fit, smart, popular strong kid that everyone looks up too. But that's just a dream. A dream that'll never happen.
So? What should I do?
Do you suffer from depression?
My mum has Manic Depression, bipolar and Diabeties (Not a mental health issue but it can be traumatizing)
and I feel like I might also suffer from some sort of minor Depression issue.
I've got AD-HD and Autism so that might play a part in it.
Lately i've been feeling very down and depressed. And this is why...
(Don't say it's pathetic or something like that because if I see that i'll be even more depressed)
On the 18th of September, 2013. (The year we're currently in)
I was on facebook and saw a smosh article.
"6 youtube creators who got off with their own movie" and what did I see? Inappropriate body part on a male Figures...
My old friend. @InsanePickaxe, who has quit MCSG, set his skype profile picture to this once, and I was wondering what it is, he told me about it breifly but I didn't like the sound of it...
Now me seeing that smosh article... I WANTED to see what Inappropriate body part on a male Figures really was... I watched ALL the episodes from series 1 - 4 and the music video and stuff. Then seen that the day previous to that. (17th of september) the movie was released... So I watched it online for free (illegal but still) and felt really bad because of the plot twist in the story... I watched it yesterday and almost cried...
Then I thought to myself... "Who are my real friends."
Is it worth being a nerd like me? Who can I trust. I feel like i'm abused and no one cares (i'm not though) but I feel like my friends don't care about me, I feel like I don't have friends, but the couple people on the internet that are NEVER ON because they live in California *Cough Cough* @KatyRoseRain, and that she's busy with school. Or old friends like @Roellie89 or @Copa3797 which I never really talk too much anymore.
I feel like having "internet" friends and only having like 4 proper ones i'm gonna loose contact with in about a few months is disgraceful for me. I have no self-esteem, and feel like no one cares. I used to be known in the MCSG community, i'm now hidden in the dust and when my name is finally heard it's no longer "oh I know that guy" it's like "It rings a bell but he's probably some nerd I hated back in SG V1."
I just don't know anymore... I've actually wanted to commit suicide before but I knew that would be a stupid idea because it wouldn't be worth it (back in early 2012) and then thought Nah... No point in doing that. I'll just go cry in a corner and be a cleaner when i'm older...
I hate who I am. I want to be someone i'm not, but I want to be myself...
I'm 13 and I weigh 16 STONE! That's probably heavier than your mum and/or dad. And i'm only 13!!! I'm super fat, hate sport, socially awkward, stupid (in my opinion) and feel like I have no life value.
I just don't know anymore. I feel like i'm loosing myself without knowing. I wanna be a fit, smart, popular strong kid that everyone looks up too. But that's just a dream. A dream that'll never happen.
So? What should I do?